Stuff a short dissertation
*..stuff is
*..stuff accumulates
*..we aquire stuff
*..we do not get rid of stuff
*..the accumulation of stuff means we always need a bigger house
*..people who do not accumulate stuff are from the planet ZENN and can thus be completely discounted
*..put enough stuff in a room and it goes critical [(garden sheds are very prone to this as are garages, linen cupboards, desks, the spare room, studies, collegiate bedrooms, childrens rooms, the front room, (but definitely not parlours; parlours do not suffer from stuff and should be considered as actually existing in another dimension on the planet ZENN ), and worst of all the cupboard under the sink.
*..try to remove stuff from a room gone critical and you can usually get enough stuff to fill a room twice the size without making any perceptible dent on the room being emptied
*..hobbies always involve the accumulation of stuff, at enormous expense (hobbies are second only to old houses as the largest money pits in the universe, followed closely by old cars ).((Of course wives and children are excluded from any such comparison as each one costs at least n times your annual salary, where n is a very large number indeed; but we wouldn't be without them, would we? bless them.))
*..Hobby stuff almost always turns up years later in the most odd places
****Everthing must be somewhere so the item that you desperately need in the room critically full of stuff must be in there somewhere. This may not be true.
**Why? Well thats impossible I hear you say . NOWAY Just because its impossible does not mean that it is not the correct explanation, improbable explanations are usually very daft and involve some incredible messing about offstage with completely daft motivations by the persons involved. Rooms have a fixed physical size so there is a limit to how much stuff you can get in there. WRONG if you try to stuff it all in in one go that's may be the way of it, but if you sneak it in there a little teansy weansy bit at a time the amount it can absorb is limitless.
*..So the room is not of fixed size, well not when its gone critical with stuff, it kinda folds in on itself, bit like the human brain (human memory and stuff have a lot in common especially in those folds) and all those pockety kinda bits can hold extra stuff, which is of course then almost impossible to find, which is why taking a holistic view often works.
* when a fold unfolds stuff is not necessarily placed back in the same position it was when the folding took place
* the size of folds is completely unknown there is currently no theoretical limit, stuff may therefore reappear almost anywhere in the universe (see hobbies above)
* folds are not ordered or organised and generally resist any attempts to be put into straight lines, which is why generally it is easier to find something in an untidy room than it is in in a tidy one , getting hold of a bit of anything in the pile thought to contain said object causes an unfolding which leads to finding the object somewhere nearby. The obsessively tidy room on the other hand resists all attempts at unfolding and so has to be emptied to below critical level before the object can be found, possibly in next doors shed.
***The above comments apply equally well to cupboards, old trunks full of grandmas stuff, sheds, that box of useful bits in the garage, and so on, A childs small toybox usually contains enough stuff for the child to completely bury the room, and of course children are notorious for being slow to tidy up; but the quantities are so great that slow is the only way to get it back in that little box.
*.. the only way to really cut through stuff is to apply a really dedicated housewife/mother to the task of spring-cleaning or decorating, at which point stuff just dematerialises and reappears just where it should be, but only momentarily. there is no known explanation for this phenomonen and it may well be a natural law. (note it definitely does not work for maidens or males of any sort).
* maidens in particular have enough stuff to fill an aircraft hanger several times over usually in a small handbag the size of a matchbox, Maidens also exceptionally can fill things-small handbags- with limitless amounts of stuff in an infinitely small time. Highly intelligent young maidens have difficulty coping with this so they aquire a tote bag of enormouse proportions for stuff, which they carry with ease, young hopefull males on the other hand usually get a hernia trying to pick it up and spend time in medical care as a result.
* .. the earth is made of stuff, proof:- if you dig a hole you can never get all the stuff back into it, but if you leave it for a while you can keep putting the stuff back into the dent that forms until you have put back all the stuff you took out and a small planets worth on top and still the dent reappars. every year archeologist go wizzing around in planes photographing all the ditches dug by Romans etc thousands of years ago.
*.. theories about the universe big bang etc are fairly off the spot it's really just that God had too much stuff and Mrs God started to springclean and...
* stuff is ignored by people seriously trained in science and thus as a consequence most scientific theories that deal with space time are completely wrong stuffed you might say.
***The practical application of stuff science can be modeled at the sub atomic level as follows
**stuff is made up of tiny paticules much smaller than those presented by conventional physics, indeed these are themselves merely conglomerations of stuff particles
***stuff particles have a continuous, in all directions, barrier interface with the rest of the universe, a little tiny bubble in fact. Taking a holistic look at this there is no difference, topographically speaking, between the space on one side of this barrier compared to the space on the other, so what you get in there is a complete universe, and if they looked through a hole in the barrier at us, we would appear as minute to them as they would to us.
***now if we take the analogy of a balloon we can stretch the surface quite a lot without danger of disaster, and in fact with the right equipment we can cause local stretching and folding (much like the young mans hernia actually) and thus one universe can occupy space in another and because of the size thing, remember we are infinitely small to them and vice versa, we do not occupy a finite amount of space in their world whilst occupying an infinite space in this.
*..I think that covers it fairly well apart from where does the money come from, I notice that the cost of bringing up a child according to the media is greater than all known incomes, I do know that it seems to equate closely to al known savings, particularly those for a comfortable old age.
On the futility of sanity
Or to put it another way
"just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people arn't getting at me
"
Topographically speaking the space outside the wall of the asylum is identical to the space inside, the walls merely define the edge between two spaces which are self contained and between them contain everything. Everybody has to be somewhere and those that are not in one space must be in the other, whos to know whether we are in the space reserved for one lot or in the space defined for the others. Supposed sane people often express the view that they must be mad,or that others are mad, many people labled mad rarely do either. "Eccentric" people often get looked after by others, most supposedly sane people do not. Dogs almost always get looked after by people, when somebody declares a dog to be less than all there it usually is, bye the way dogs are people too.
so therfore 0=1
just thought you might like to know that
PS you'll notice I got fed up with boring sensible meaningful titles, anyway I expect somebody somewhere is looking in, if only for a government sponsored job creation scheme.
On the wonders of .....
hi there how are you today, is your life as it should be, do you need wondergoole, get it now hears how!!
On a Holistic view of well everything naturally
I honestly think Holistic needs to be defined here in terms of it's gestalt
derived properties, such that in travelling from A to B following somebody going to P (for instance) may eventually give you a much more satisfactory journey, than slavishly following the map which will (and especially in marketing terms) give a very poor consumer payback response curve.
This means that by using a "Holistic" model of reality we can easily accomodate the view that if a Brazillian forest butterfly flaps it's wings at the wrong (or possibly defined as right; much use of extended header files here full of scintillating equates) moment then some poor sod in China buys the big one. Or as a worked example, Having been given the job of protecting the afore mentioned Chinese guy, a quick trip to Brazil to superglue up the (sorrey no little furry, and not so furrey, creatures come to grief in this scenario) butterflies wings is in order. You could of course economise by not buying the superglue and stamping on the dammed insect, In this case the above politically correct statement does not apply and should be deleted.
Applying holistic concepts to product marketing
A much simpler solution to the problem of achieving complete market domination, which can accomodate legacy products from other manufacturers that consumers doggedly refuse to give up, is to design a set of attractive and visually stimulating labels, each one carrying your own brand name, which you mail out to customers with instructions on how to customise their existing products. The added fillip of a competition with real prizes should make the whole thing go with a whizz. It also saves the extensive cost involved in actually making a product.
Bizzarre verses Blah!
something
for you to
mull over.
Early in the
20th
century we
had :-
deco
and nouveau
then we got existensilism
and modernist
and cubist
and punk
and probably
others, too
numerous to
remember.
(Who
remembers
square/
concrete
poetry?)
and surrealism
and now we
just have bizzarre
or BLAH!
bye for now
Chris
#define BLAH! a_noise_made_by_a_child_when_you_put_something_into_its_mouth_that_is (completley_tasteless, textureless,
of_indeterminate_temperature, and_totally_unpleasant )
