_ . |-|n Alien Burbles! * o o . . . o . 0 Chapter 5 0 + . . o o . . . . . . . * . . . ___ . . . . . . . . . /\ // \ . . . _ . . . . /\ / // \_ . __ . . | ./\ . //\\/ // \_ // \ _ |\ . / // \ // \__/ / \__ // | / \ | \ . | // \_/ / / \/ / \/ \_/ \/\/\// ~~~~~~~~~/_____________________________________________________________ ~ ~ ~ ~""="='. .'''.''''''.''''''.'''''.'''.''''.''''.'''' ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~"="='. .'''.'''''.'''''''.''''''.'''.''''.''''''' ~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~"='. .'''''.'''''''''.'''''''''''.''''''.''''' ~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~~~="='. .'''''''''.''''''''''.'''''''''.'''.''' ~ ~~ ~ ~~~""="='. .''''.''''''''''.''''''.''''''''''.'' The planet Salenger is an unremarkable place, stuck in a backwater part of the galaxy. Almost nothing of note happens here... Now just a little . ':. COUGH! skill and attention . o . PHUTT! for a safe landing! . '::. GASP! ______.____ / . .::.:.:. \|/ / ___/ // ==\ '::::::::':':'.'. < #[_/____/ \____\._ . . . '':' /|\ . . . . . . . . . . * . . . ___ . . . . . . . . . /\ / \ . . . _ . . . . /\ / / \_ . __ . . | _/\ /\ ./\ . / \\/ / \_ / \ _ |\ . / _/ \/ \/ \ / \__/ \__ / | / \ | \ . | / \__/ \_/ \/ \/ \_/ \ / _____________________________________________________________\___/_____ Almost!!!! One of the things that this planet seems to be notable for, is a pronounced tendency to attract heavily damaged spacecraft fleeing from some huge threat or other! ' . .--. ' / / ' . * ' N . | | . ' E \ \ . ' O '--' + ' W * + + ' ! . ' _________ . . ____ Arse! . ' /' ' ' ' '\ __ /' ' \ . . | ' | . .\ . / \ | \_ .\ /. | .\ / .\ / \ .| . .:| | .\_ /\ / . '= =' ::| / . .. \ / \ __/ . - . :.. . \__/ . ::.\/ . | | / . :. . / : \ . . . . \ / / W H U M P F F ! . . . . . . .. |__/ . .. .:. . .. . . . . ..: .. ..:.. . . ..:. . . .:. . .. _________________________________________________________________________ The other thing it is notable for, is the shortage of good landing facilities! """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""\ \____\_____\____\____\_____\____\____\____\____\____\____\___\ \EMERGENCY EXIT\ \\ __________ \\ / \\ We're stuck here, because \\ |_ _ || you cannibalised the GPS But everyone | \\ /\ || / and navicomp |_____/ knows of your |_||___/__\|| sSSSs to repair /_ _\ fondness for | || _||______ ssSs (@@ the sandwich |o| |O| toasted cheese | \\/\ oo(It's her!) ssS{ > toaster!? | v | and ham | /\@\ (The nudie) ssS ( Which is \|( )|/ sandwiches! | \ \_\ (Website) ss \__/ why we | | / \\ | \_ \ (babe!) .'""\ crash- _[]---[]_ : : __/ \ | ||\ \\ ----- :| | ) -landed? |==|\\\|==| \__/ // | || \__\|| :| |/ in the || W W || _\_// | / :\ || :| | first place? || || _/. . ..... The after-crash arguments between the princess, and Jonnyboy rage on, oblivious to the fact they have a newly arrived visitor! """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \____\_____\____\____\_____\____\____\____\____\____\____\____\____\ _ _ I'm Greebo, and I The Great Boog save me / \ / know loads of famous from pervo's! Just get us | | / celebrities. I'll sSSSSSs off this planet. That's /\| |/\ introduce you to SS{@ @}SS all I want to do! / @\ / @\ them! Ahem, anyone S;( v );S / \ / \ / ever say you look sss\(_)/sss \/ \/ quite nice fully _ .'-'. _ \\ // clothed as well? / ':~~~:' \ /\ /\ / ) ) | /| V |\ / /\ /| | \ | | \ \ \ | | | | It appears that Greebo, the insatiably curious alien has found them first! He has a proposal, which the Princess immediately rejects, in favour of a much less tacky one! """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \____\_____\____\____\_____\____\____\____\____\____\____\____\____\ Okay, you can come with us to the ____________________________ / spaceport and help us ( \_ / |\) sSSSSSs find a ship out of here. // \ \/\ SNURFF! |// SS{@ @}SS NOW WILL YOU GET OUT OF \\| \/\*\ Hahaha! |\\ S;( v );S THAT DAMN LAUNDRY BASKET! //| /\ \_\ / Ooh Yes! |// sss\( )/sss \\| // \_ \ |\\ _ .'-'. _ __// _\_\\__ |// / ':~~~:' \ ???? |\ /\ @@@@@@@@@ ____________|\) / ) ) \ | \/ \:@'@'@'@: \/\/\/\/\/\/\/ / /\ /\ \ |_____| \ /\_ |'@'@'@'| \ \ |,,,,| / / /_ _\ // |@'@'@'@| \ /......\ / |O| |O| // .....|'@'@'@'|................. ( v ) ......... | v | .... ||_ |@'@'@'@| : |\ \ \|---|/ \ |'@'@'@'| : | \ \ | | ------- ' ' ' ' []---[] It is clear that taking Greebo with them is not going to be an easy or comfortable task! _______ ________ .-----. / ___ \ / \ / \_ | // \______ / \____/ \/\__/ \__ / || I've been \ / /____\ sSSSss \ / /\|| in that \__/ o_| | What a @) sSss \ __/ /@/\/ Sam Shatterday /_ ...| strange < }Sss | /. /_/ / / detective ||___/ creature ) :Sss | / . / _/ telly series! _| |_. he is? \__/ ss \ // /|| :|[ ] / /""'. \ /__/ || . \|| | . ( \ \: . | .: \ / \ . ..:: :. . .:__|| | ::.. .::. \ \ \ ...::. \_ ____ \/| |\ _______________ ''-_-' \ ___________ |/ / ___________\ | | \ '"""""' _/~/\ \__/ /\ \ / /// ) .'. .'. / \ | | | /\ |.: :.| / \ | | | | \ '.,',' _| \ ; ; ; \ / | |\ \ |.| / ; ; ; O |_| \/\ _/|| _/ Soon, the party sets off to get help, patiently listening to some unlikely anecodes from Greebo on the way! . . * ROLL UP! Watch . . Somebody kill this . _ _ the princess idiot!! . / \ / \ drop her panties! . . . | | / It's well worth sSSSSSs / . . . /\| |/\ seeing, if you SS{^ ^}SS / \ / \ like that sort S;( v );S :^^: . . \@ / \ @/ of thing! . sss\(_)/sss \__/ \/ \/ \/ \_ _ .'-'. _ . || . \ \\ // / _/\ /\ ./\ / / ':~~~:' \ || /\_ \__/\ /\__/ _/ \/ \/ \ / | ) ) | || . \/\ | V | / \__/ \/ | |\ /\ \ || ____\_\___ | | ___/__________________ | | |,,,| \ \ __||_____ \ _ / |~|/.....\ \~\_ | | /|||( v ) \\\ | | : | : | |_ : | : / ' ' ' ' When they do reach what passes for civilisation around these parts. Greebo loses no time at all in introducing the princess to the population at large! It's that Greebo again, ! ! talking through his bottom! _ _ It was something \ / | | about a book he | | That boy is | | was supposed to \ \ \ _ an idiot! /\\ //\ be writing, it /\\ //\ | | / _____// / \ / \ was called "The / \ / \ | | / / \ a/ \a / Chud Fanciers \ a/ \a / /\\ //\ /\\ //\ \ \/ \/ Bible". Well \/ \/ / \ / \ / \ / \ What was \\ // that never saw \\ // \ // \ // \u / \ u/ it the //\ /\\ the light of day! //\ /\\ \/ \/ \/ \/ last time? / | " | \ | | o | | \\ // \\ // | | | | \ / _| | | //\ /\\ //\ /\\ /\ \\ // /\ | | Yeah! \ \ _ / \ | = | \ | | x | | \ / | | /\\ //\ | | \| | | | | | | | | | | / \ / \ | | \ _ / /| \___/ |\ | | | | \a / \ a/ | | | | | | /\\ //\ / \ \/ \/ / \ | | | | / a\ /a \ \\ // Unfortunately, his fellow Salengerians remain to be convinced. A lot of this scepticism seems to relate to Greebo's slender grasp on the truth on previous occasions! . _ _ . It's a funny old world, isn't it? / \ / | . . Is anyone in the audience a lesbian, | | . . . . and if so, when did they become one? /\ ||/\ * Anyway, I farted just now, but it /@ \ / \ Bloody hell! didn't smell! Flibble flibble floo! \/ \ / \@ / |/ He's totally \ . __ . . \ \/ \/ / out of control! \ . /\_ . / \_ . \ \\ // / _/\ /\ . | / \. /\ /\/ \ /\_ . \/\ /\/ . _/ |_____| / \/ \/ \ / \/ \ /\ | V | / /_ _\ / ________________\________________\__\___ | | ___/____ |o| |o| _____ \ _ / | v | | | \|[_]|/ | | | | D i s c o n t e n t e d | | _[]---[]_ / \ |==|\\\|==| M u r m u r i n g s ! ! || W W || . . . ....:::::.... . . . . || || .... ........... .................. ... Greebo unfortunately over-reaches himself, losing what scant sympathy he had in the first place from his fellow Salengerians! _ \\ . * ' ' DONK! .--. . \_\___ ' / / ' . \ \ ' * ' ' ' | | OwWwWW! /\| |/\* *' ' \ \ . . . \ / @\ /_\\* ' '--' \ / \ // ' |_____| They're turning \ \/ \/ \/ __ /_ _\ ugly! Run for \ /\_ \\ // / / \_ ' |O| |O| it! | / \. /\ /\__/ / \ /\_. | V | / \/ /| V | \/ '\/\ \|(_)|/ _________ / | | __________________\_\________ | | _________ | \ _ / _[]---[]_ /\ | | Get out you ' |==|\\\|==| . | | sad little || W W |\\ : : BOOO! _| |_ tosser! ' || | \\// _ | _ _ ' || ooo | \/ \ | \ / \ \ \_ ||"""""" | | | | /\\ //\ / ':: | /\\ //\ | | / \ / \/ \ / \ / / \ / \ /\\ //\ \ v / / \ | | \ v / / \ / \ \ / /\\ //\ | | \ / \ v / \| |/ / \ / \ \ / \| |/ \ / / \ \ v / O / \ \| |/ /| | \ / Bollocks! /| |\ / \ | | | \| |/ Soon, our heroes find themselves having to flee from an enraged mob! /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ \| / EXCUSE ME, CAN YOU DIRECT \ | _ |ME AND MY WIFE TO THE MUSEUM / |_ _________________ |OF FISH-GUTTING?/\/\/\/\/\/\/ \ \__- (SHIT, shit, shit,) \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ \ ___// | ( shit, shit!! ) ()_() /\/ / \ \|__ (THEY'RE here! ) / --()_() /@/\/ \ | ----------------- (____ / ----(0) /_/ / \\ |_ sSSSSSs o |O|O|(_____) / _/ \ | SS{@ @}SS o \____/ '----|O|O|O| // /|| \ \ \| S;( v );S /____\ -O '-----' /__/ || \_ \ | sss\ O /sss o_| | | X--O O---C / / \ / |_ _ .'-'. _ /_ ...| |||||| C-5 | /| |\/ \\ \ | / ':~~~:' \ ||___/ /____ ||||||| \/ | | \ | / ) ) \ _| |_. U /_______\ / \__/ \\\\ |_ _ \ \\ // / :|[ ] / U U / | \ | \ \|,,,|/ / \|| | / | \ |_ - \/.....\/ || | _/ _| \\ | ( v ) /|| \ \| : | : "||""' And this isn't the only problem they've got either. It appears that some poorly disguised undercover visitors are also in the locality! So now we leave this endangered trio for the moment, and pay an overdue return visit to the shadier streets of Grobelaar, to see how Ham and Dirk are getting on. We close with a few last minute comments! _ _ / \ / \ Why did sSSSSSs |_____| I'm still looking | | they shout SS{@ @}SS /_ _\ for bits to fix /\\ //\ * at me and S;( v );S |o| |o| / that sandwich /@ \ /_\\* hit me?? sss\(_)/sss | v | toaster! \ / \ // * / ss '-' ss \|---|/ \/ \/ _/ / | | \\ // I've got to get \ / off this planet V NOW! () () () C h a p t e r E n d () () ()