T H E ,_ ,_ | \ . _ ._ _ __ . _ ._ _._ | ) ._ _._ . ._ |. )| ( /\ |_) (_ |.\ | (_ | ) | |\ /\ |_) /\ | | / |_/ | _) \/ |_) (_ |_/ | (_ | | | | \ \/ |_) \/ | | \._ ,__ ,__ __ |[]| |[]| || |' | ||-'.__ ||-' |' _|| .__ |. || |[]| || || |[]| |[]| || '' --' '' -- --' --' ---- F R O M __. * ,-------.__--' _/ * .'.-_,_ _____.--' + ( (___/ /_ _ __ .__ + '._ _ __>.--._. ( `/ ) / o `. * / / / @ | | | ... / ( .==' * . . / / (____/\| |_|!|_\ \___/. ( ) / / \ / ' * `=_,/ ,______________-----// * ) ___--" `. /'--' '------' Otherwise known as: "If it wasn't for those meddlin' ballet-tights clad and strangely eighties-styled kids, I'd have gotten clean away with it!" --------=============------- Simon Bowell, the megalomaniac music mogul, has some surprise news for the currently obedient Robotic Pop Idol. ._ __ _ ___ __ .~##~. I need to spend )_ #-. ._# some quality time ) {@ @} with my new ) [ V ] protege, Stinking )_,,... ( \<>/ ) \'--'-\ , Protoplasmic Obedient_) _/'-__-'\_ | | | Pop Idol. So I'm )_- / . \ |_ |_ |_ packing you off to )_ / /' . |\ \ '_) |_) |*) the New York Academy )/ / | . | \ \ __ __ __ __ __ __ of Performing Arts,_) \ \ ======== / / ((BECAUSE THE DRUGS)) also known as the_) \_\(#######/_/ ((DON'T WORK!)) Kids from Fame ) '|||'######///\ -| -- -- -- School! )-- -- ___________|##/_\##|_________'_________________________ -- -- - |##| |##| .`,'. _'~~| |~~'_ (;.'.'} HISSS! <__ _ ' '__ __> ',.' Bubble! ' __ ___ ____ ___ __ And so, one swift transatlantic flight later.. / \ |Well, here I am, my \ _.~'. | | ##| | #####| |first day back at / |:::| \ | | ##| .--'----- -. | #####| |school! / |:::| | | | ##| | New York | | #####' \_ __ __ __ __ ___ / _..~|-_|:::| | | | ##| | Academy | | #####| _:..__. / ....| ~.::| | | | ##| | of ' | #####| /__ \ _/ ....| |::| | | '___' 'Performing| '______' |@> o "| ... ' |::: _.~| ===== | Arts | ======== \__ _.| ... | |::| |;;;| | : .--) |#|/ ... : |::| |;;;| '__________'___ \___/ #| ... | :::| |;;;| _|____ ____ |_ |_ /'/--' ... | |::\ |;;;| _|___ ___ ______|_ |_ \ \ / ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | _|_______ _______ __|_ |_ \ []|\ / |__|_______ ________ ___|___|_____ | []|/______ ____________/ '~[]' / _ \ />/ \___ /|\ ____ | | | \\ |:| / /--=='=' \\ '.' / '----'-' .\\______/_______________________________________________________ , `----'------ --------------'--------------- ------'------------' . ' . . ' . , ' With the other new intake students, he is given the famous welcome speech by hardnut dance teacher, Lydia Bitch! | ' | ' ,sss, _ ___ ______ ___ _ | | | .ssSSSss. ( Fame costs! ) | . | ss\_ _/ss | And here's where | | | | sS{@ @}Ss | you start paying!| | | | s( v )s | - In sweat, with | ' ' ,_ ____ ___ ___ __. : \<_>/ | small model bears) | | / \ | _.`-'._ | and in medium | | | |Wow! I didn't think| | ( ) | denomination | | | |it was going to be | | |~|( )( )~| ( banknotes! ) . ' |that hard! ____ __/ ' \\ // --- ___ ----__-- | | \___ ____ _/ | \\_._//. | |___ / |____ (\=I=/ ) ______________________________| _:..__. / | I\ | /__ \ / : |I | : ___ |@> o "| _|_|I |_|_ ------- \_ _.| /--_:I :_--\ ============ ._ _. ._) |#|/ :. I --------- \ / \___/ #| '(@ '.' Tap tap! --- | | /'/__' _\ Ss - /\\ //\ \ \ / <_. sSSSSs \|||/ / \ / \ \ []| _/ sSSSSSSs ( ) \ v / |[]| And Robotic Pop Idol's worst fears are confirmed, as he is set to work in the dance class right away! ___ ___ __ __ _ .___ __ __ _ ' . ` ,sss, ( MOVE YOUR ASS ) \But I'm not_\ . _.;..:._ , .ssSSSss.| ROBOT-BOY! | /naturally / / __ __ \ , ss\_ _/ss(____--____---_) \graceful | )<@.||.@>: . sS{@ @}Ss / /like the |--== \ Oo / s( v )s _/ \Boogaloo/ ('(__)') ' \(_)/ /girls! | _ '-\__/-' _ _.`-'._______:_ , , \______/ /--X / \ X--[_][][]< ( |------= \ /\ / []\ \ / / |~|( )( ) \\// '\ /\ [] , || , ||\ / )) \\/ [] | '' | ||'===='. | ))\/' / \ '~~~[]~~~' /::( v ) / \ \ \ /\ / ____ \ : / ___________ \ / _____ /\ _________________ / /__| | ___________ ==== | | | =========== { } === _/ /_ ================ `.=`. '=' ========== ---- |_|_:. --------- ----------------- /__/ - \_\ -------- ___ / /\ \ _______ C'mon, it's easy!! _________________________________ '==' ==' Eventually, he is released from his balletic torment, and allowed to go on to the next class. _____________ __________ ____________ ___ ___||_ ___ ___, | |. -:Hallway Notice:- .| /That was horrible!/ | . ================== | _.;..;._ \Ms Bitch said if I\ | |NO students are allowed' / __ __ \ /forgot my leggings/ : |in the hallways without| )<@.||.@>: \next time, she'd/ | 'a valid hall pass! | \ Oo / /make me do it in\ | | ; ('(__)') \my pants! Now / | :Failure to produce a | _ '-\__/-' _ /where in this / O | |hall pass on demand may| /--X / \ X--\ \hallway is my \ ' |result in severe loss . \ \ / / /next semester?/ | |of privileges and also | [], || ,[] \____ _-_ __ _/ | 'certain internal organs| []| '' |[] || | |. .| []'~~~[]~~~'[] || | ----------------------- /> \ /\ / <\ || | _____ | |__| | __________||-------------|_______________________________ :::::''=' '=''::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::: /_/ |_| :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::. .:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: But before he can find his way there, trouble appears from just around the next corner! ________ ______ .---===---. | NO HALL PASS? | (___________) |PREPARE TO DIE!| |##=###=##| |MOTHERFUCKER! | / -U- \ /'-- ------- ----' .___ \_ ,___, _/ ___. __ -__---___ /= \_( (\/\) )_/ =\ \Aaagh! Shit!\ klik! ( '-----' ) /They've got / _'_ / | ( \ / ) | \ROBOCOP as / / _ \ ) |" ___/ \___ "| ' /the hall \ ||O||\ / )| \ / |' ) \momitor! / \___/\\ / / | ' ' || | `---\----' \__\/\\#| / \ /| | .__..:_ . \ _\\#\_/ ===="""""""==== |Z_| / __\ ' | | .##, ( ::.. ..::) \__/ |" o <@| , | |/ \/ ' \ / ' #'## |._ _/ | || | || | ## \|#| (_. '_' | . || . | |# \___/ | . || . | '__\'\ ' '' ' But luck is on the Robotic Pop Idol's side, as Robocop's Windows ME tactical weapons edition upgrade falls apart at the crucial moment! : ________ ______ ' .---===---. ' |ERROR! ERROR! | __ ________ _____ (___________) |CAN NOT WRITE | /Phew! That's \ |~~~~~~~~~| |CACHE FILE TO | |lucky! Robocop | ': / -U- \ /|DISK! PLOT ! 'has some of the | .___ \_ ,___, _/ ___.|IMPLAUSABILITY | |most impressive | /= \_( (...) )_/ =|BUFFER FULL! | |lethal force on . ' ( '-----' |FLOPPY DEVICE | |the planet, but | | ( \ / ) |NOT RESPONDING!| |also some of the | : ) |" ___/ \___ "| |SHUT DOWN AND | \crappest software!/ | )| \ / |' |REBOOT! | '----- ------ ---' | || ' ' || '---------------' .__..:_ / ': | |\ /| | / __\ / |_Z| ===="""""""==== |Z_| |" o <@| \__/ ( ::.. ..::) \__/ ::' |._ ._/ |==|# ' \ / ' #'## \|#| \_. \''/# | || | ## |# \___/ '|__| | . || . | :' '--\'\ ' (__) | . || . | ' \ / / ' || | || | ' |[] / || | ____ || ___ | |[] | '' '' '''' '' Robotic Pop Idol then discovers he was not alone whilst all this was going on! .-------- --------. .---- ---- ---- ---. .------ -------. | He's Brunei, the | | And I'm Freeroy, | | Wow! That was | ( mop-headed muso. ) ( the suspiciously ) ( way cool! You ) | I'm Cocoa, the | | overdeveloped one, | | sorted out | ( girl who lives ) ( with a physique ) ( old Robo-Cop ) | to dance on car | | designed for adult | | a treat! | ( bonnets! ) ( themed movies! ) '-- -- -- ----' '-- ----- ---- --' '---- -------- ----' \ . .SsS. | .;#####;. / .sSSSs. .sSSSSSs. / #__ __# / .$$$$$$$$$. ssS_. ._SSs. ( @} {@ ) s$$(6 6)$$s SsS{@ @}sSs \' ^ '/ 'ss \ ss' ssS\ V /sSs `\<__>/ ( <_> ) Ss '<_>, ss' .-. `__'.-. ..`---'.. ,_.`- ._, / \ /=========\ ( ) ( ( .) .) ) ) /=/|======|\\ | |( )( )\ \ \ )\ /\ \ '/=/ '======| \\ ( |\._._./\ \ \ \ (______) \ \ ||| '=={}==' /\\ |_|( ) \_\_ /\\\(######) /\\\ | . | /\\\| v \ \\\ |##||##| | || | | |\ \ |##||##| And now they've got together, Robotic Pop Idol and his new chums decide on a traditional 'Kids from Fame' style show-stopper. .___ _________ ____. .______ ____ _. _:..__. .SsS. ( Hey Robo, tell you ) / Yeah, well \ /__ \ .sSSSSSs. | what. Let's do a | | we're gonna | |@> o "| sSS_. ._SSs ( show together! ) \ live forever! / \_ _.| .sS{@ @}sSs '----- ------------' '---- --- ----'\_ ._> |#| sS\ V /sSs _/ \____/ #| Ss '<_>' ss' /'/__' `-' \ \ / But in a piece of time honoured near-end-of-episode cliched script-writing, disaster strikes! ____ _____.________________ ________________________ /\ / \ \| | | \| __ _. _ __ __ __ ._ | \ |_ |--'. * / /\ / | /__ |_\ | /_ / | | | \ '--' \ | \ | \ ' | | .|__/ |._/ | | _/ ' -- ' ' * | ' | | Kids from Fame end of episode Plot Sickener form B/0038 | | ' | TICK ONE ONLY: | | | | Cocoa's tights split = | \ Freeroy is 'Outed' = | | Debbie does Brunei = | | Titanic sinks (again) = _\ | Siege of Leningrad = /_ | Central Europe floods = / | | Saddam is insane! = / | | . End of the World! = \/ | \ | /_/|__________'\_______________________/__________________/ ######################################################### And it's a biggie! The grim reaper himself has put in an unwelcome appearance! . * . /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ . . / / . .-__-., /\ - YOU ALL WANT LIFE? WELL LIFE COSTS, - . \ .-_ // \ \ AND HERE'S WHERE YOU START PAYING! \ / /* *\ //\ \ - - . .' ; ^ | // \ | \ - IN BLOOD, WITH LARGE TEA-URNS \ : \===' // | | - FILLED WITH CLASS-A DRUGS, AND - , | '_-' // |/ \ WITH ANY LOOSE CHANGE THAT YOU \ / / | // - CAN FIND DOWN THE BACK OF THE SOFA! - * '| \ \ |\'// + \ \ \ \ \| \/ , - HWAAR HWAAR HWAAR! MORTALS!! - :' ` \ \ \ | \_____| . \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ | // | . | // | . | // | .===. I-I-It's the end of the world |_ | // ' |_ |_ as we know it! |*) \ // | |*) |*) \ : / - | - ' \ | / /_/__.__\__.\ ' + _ooq=""''$b$_&?b\_ And before you ask, * .-`^" "'o |&M:MMMMMMMMHo_ no I didn't draw . o/' -$Mb#MMMMMMMMMMMMMMHo. this globe. Do you /' .ooHP*&R&MMMMMMMMMMMMMM?. think I look . .' `MRbod?|'`+?##9MMMMMMMMMH\ like a . .` .,MMMMMMH#od##obdMMMMHMMMMMMb maschochist - ?MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM$HMMH$ZP*HMMb on a diet!? ? |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|9MMMMP "M6\ .- dMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMb]M*' |R | . + 1| `HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMd#| ?,: MH, ``*""'"*#MMMMMMMMMMMMMM* '` . MM6_ |MMMMMMMMMMMMH" : MMMMMb. "MMMMMMMMMMT - . &MMMMM' |MMMMMMMMMH ` !MMMMb .HMMMMMMMMM+.?& : + . TMMMM *MMMMMMMP dH' . : 9MM' `MMMMMMP' "' . . 9ML `MMM#' - It seems that the jig is up, but our kids from Fame aren't at all downhearted! Not one little bit! .-------- --------. .---- ---- ---- ----. .------ -------. | Never mind Brunei| | Sure Cocoa, just | | Well are we | ( let's defy fate, ) ( as soon as I've ) ( downhearted? ) | and DO THE SHOW | | finished adding | | Are we scared?| ( RIGHT HERE!!!-*- ) ( water to this ) ( I certainly ) | Are you with me | | sachet of dehydrated| | will be! | ( Freeroy!? ) ( backing orchestra! ) '-- -- -- ----' '-- ----- ---- --' '---- -------- -----' \ . .SsS. | .;#####;. / .sSSSs. .sSSSSSs. / #__ __# .$$$$$$$$$. ssS_. ._SSs. ( @} {@ ) s$$(6 6)$$s SsS{@ @}sSs \' ^ '/ 'ss \ ss' ssS\ V /sSs `\\__// . ' . ( (_) ) Ss '<_>, ss' .-. `__'.-.__-__/_ . . ..`---'.. ,_.`- ._, / ____ = | /=========\ ( ) ( ( .) .) )/ |__| ' /=/|======|\\ / /( )( )\ \ / )\ / ' . . ' \=\'======|// / / \._._./\ \ / / (______) /\\'=={}=='\ /_/_ ( ) \_\_ `/// (######) | . | \\\ / v \ \\\ |##||##| | | \ \ / / \ \ |##||##| | | \ \ \ \ / / \##||##/ Ans so, we're onto the grand finale to close this episode down! Is it really the end? Will they be back, Oh, I'm sure I can arrange something! (grin!) .'`.`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`'`.'`'`'.`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'``. ' \ / \ / ' . \/\/ E'RE NOT GONNA LIVE FOREVER!! \/\/ E'RE GONNA LEARN HOW TO DIE! '. '' '` .'`.`..`'| |'.`.`.'. `..'`.`'`.'.'`'``.`''``.'`.` '``.`.\ /'`'``.' | | | | | | | | |/ \ | | | |/ . \| .sSs. .;#####;. / _.;..;._ .sSSSs. .sSSSSSs. #__ __# / __ __ \ .$$$$$$$$$. ssS~. .~SSs. ( @} {@ ) )<@.||.@>: s$$(6 6)$$s SsS{@ @}sSs ::_ \' ^ '/ \ Oo / -- 'ss \ ss' ----- ssS\ V /sSs/-/ ------ `\<__>/ ---------- ('<__>') --- ( \_/ ) sSs '<_>, ss' / .-. `__' .-., _ '-\__/-' _ ..`---'.. _\____,_.`- ._,/ / / \ /--X / \ X--\ /=========\ =|_____ _/ ( ( .) .) )\ ) \ \ / / /=/|======|\\ (( )( )) \ )\ /( / [], || [] '/=/ '======| \\ \._,_./ \ \ (______)/ / []| ''>[][] |||__'=={}=='_/\\___. ( ) /\\\(######)\\\ []'~~[]~~~' ------------------\/| / v \ |##|\##\ /> \ / \ / Maxi-Moog | | / / \ \ |##| \##\ | | | | __________________//| \ | / / \##| \#\ '=' '=' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' || _\| _|/ _-|#| \#\ /_/ \_\ || || (___'(___' /__-__| / | || || '--' .' '. '' - SIZZLE! - ............. _ _ ' ' :SYSTEM ERROR: ________ \/ _______ .---===---. :# 3670 ! : (AAAAAGH!) / \ (NOOOOO!) (___________) '''''''''''' ,sss, -------- /\\ //\ ------- |##=###=##| .. .ssSSSss. / /\~\ / \ / . '' . / ~U~ \ .:::.. ss\_ _/ss .:::. \/ / \ @/ /. ~~FRY!~~ \_ ,___, _/ .::::: sS{@ @}Ss '::' \/ \/ ;:. ' .. ' ( ( (___) ) ::: s( v )s :' \\ // .::::. ' '-----' ' ' ' \(_)/ ' ' ) ' \ / :' ( ' ( ) ( ( ' ( ' `_' ( ( ^ ) ' ' ( ) ( ' ) ' ) ( ' ' ( ' ' ( ) ( ' ' ( ' ( ' ) ' ) ' ) ( ' ) ' ' ( ' `) ` ' ) ) ` ( ) ) ` ( ` ( ( ` ) ' ( ( ` ) ) `( ` ) ) '``'`''``'''`'`'`'`'`''``'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''``''``''``'`'`'`'`'`'`'` ######### # # # #### # # # # # # # # #### #### ### #### #### # # # # ### # # # # # # # # #### #### # # #### * Next episode! - The Charity Telethon! Tssk, more awkward questions! - CiH for Alive! Mag, October '02