- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
      ..----.  _
    .' .----' | |
    | '       | |                                                 .-.
    |#|       | '_____   .----.  .-==== .-====   .----.   .----.  | |
    |#|       |       | | |--| | | |    | |     | |--| | | |--| | |#|
    |#'.____  |#|---|#| |#|==|#| |#|    |#|___  |#|__|#| |#|==|#| |#|____
    |#######| |#|   |#| |#|  |#| |#|    |#####| |######| |#|  |#| |######|
     -------' '_'   '_' '_'  '_' '_'    '_____' '-____-' '_'  '_' '______'
      _____                 ___
     (__ __) __ __  ___    ) __(  ______   _____  __     __  __
       ) (   )|=|(  |(=   ( |__  (  __  ) (  ___) )|     )|  |(
      '---' '-' '-' '--    ) ==(  )|  |(   )|    ( |    ( |  | )
                          ( |__  ( |==| ) ( |     )|___  )|__|(
     .'     '.             )___(  ):  :(   ):    (_____)(____  )
    {  Dildo  }                                              |(
     } Fatwa {                                               | )
    {         }                                               '
    }}       {{           |||  ||| .|||| .|||||. ||||||.  .||||'
   {{  Static }}          '|| |||| ||.   ||| ||| ||| '||  ||'
   })} strip {({             ' ||| ||||' ||||||| ||||||'  '|||.
  {({  v 1.2  })}         ||. .||' ||'   ||| ||| ||| ||     '|||
  })}}       {{({          '||||'  '|||| ||' '|| ||| '||. .||||'
 {({{         }})}
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          /                        \            .====================`.
= `.     /__________________________\          /                     \ '.
 \  '.    |    ( )                  |         /_______________________\/|
__\/ |    |  /|  |\/               ||          |    ( )               | |
  |  |    |__\|__|_________________||          |   /| |\              | |
  | /|   //;...  ;::::..   .  ...  |: -------- |___\'_'/______________|/: ---
__|/ |  //________________________//|          /______________________/ |
  |  /  | Fruit 'n   ______________|_  .   .  | Warez 'R US!          | |
  | /   | Veg!     .'                '.       | Komputer Games..      |/
__|/    '________ / Wow! That stall's  \      |_______________________'
       .######.  (  selling computer    ) .-----------------.    .---.__
     .## #######. \ games. Let's take  /  |Yeah, I wonder   |  .'       '_.
   .###  ########  / a closer look!  .'   |what we'll find  | (_____/)     \
   ###  __. .__  )/ _.______________.     |there?           |   /@)  '.     )
   {   ( @ :  @)( //                      '----------------\ \ (_      a} .'
    #       \   ) /     ...         .                       \_=  |__.    -
    '     _\_)_ \     \///                                       '__/   _)
 .   \   \_____/ )   /\ \         .            .                 (     /
      )         /   /  \/                               .         '___'\_
    _/'--_____--|  /   /         ,------------------------,       /      \
   /       v     \/   /         :| ONE SATURDAY AFTERNOON |:     /    /  /
  /        |         /          :| AT THE MARKET...       |:     \   /  /|
  \   /|   '     .__/            '________________________'       \ /  / |
   \  \    |     \                                                 /  /  '
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.                                       |
  |  .  | .---. .---. .--   .--  |                                       '
  |  |  | |-- | |-- | |--   \    |             .---__----__------__---.
  '_____' |   | |   \ '__  __'    ....         | Don't ask for kredit |  |
                             .::''':::'''::    \ as a punch in the    |
  `.---.    .   .  .--      .::'   '''   '::.  | mouth often ofends!! |  |
   |-- |    |   |  \        ::             ::  '_--______--______--___'  '
   |   \    '___' __'     (\(   .__    __.  )/)     _  _    _   _ _      |
                           ) )  (_o)  (o_) ( (     '. The Hobbit   '     |
                           \{        \      }/      |  OUT NOW!   |
   K \/\/ A L i T y          (     (__)    )        |/\/\/\/\/\/\/'      .
                            _ ' '_______' '         , ZX Spectrum |      |
   S o F t \/\/ a R e Z    (\/\           /\        | C64         |      '
                          __'  '===___==='  '__     . Amstrad     |
   S i N c E  1982!     .'         ===         '.   | Atari 800   |      |
                       /            .            \   --- --- - - -
sssssssssssssssssssss /    /        |         |\  \                      |
                      \   \|        .         | \  \                     ;
     ------------------\   \ ------------------- _  \-------------
    / .---.  ___ __   _________.   ____    /\\--- / /Turbo   / / \ \     |
   / /___// /  ////  /G-string /  /   /\  / //   / /bottom  / /  /  \    .
  /  ====' /__////  / fighter /  /___/ / /______/_'_hunt   / \  /    \   |
 /    /    /      / ----------   \___\/      /     //_____'   \/      \  '
     /____/ ------                          /_____//                   \
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
  .------------.           .- - - - - - -.          ______________.
 /            / \         /             / \        /             / \
/____________/   \       /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/   \      /_\\\\\\\\\\\\/   \
|            |   | ----- |             |   | ---- |             |   |-----
|_____  .#######.      _______________     |                ________________
|     .### #######.  .' Wow, they've  '.     .--.--.._    .' Hang on, this  '                                                                                                                                            |
'--- .###  ######## (  got Arse Bandits )  .'    (_.  `. (  box looks a bit  )
     ###  __. ._  )  ' of Zorg!       .'  (______/  '_  ) ' dodgy?          '
     {.  ( @ : @)(  / /---------------     :(@) \ (@) \/  / /--------------'
      #      \    ) \/                     |    _)     }  |/
      '    _\_)_  \                        (   _____   )                 '
       \  \_____/  )                        ( (_____) )
        )    _    /           .              '__    __'
     __/'--_____--|__                      __/  ----  \__
    /        v       \                    /              \
   /         |        \        .         /  /\         .  \
   \   /|    '     |\  \                /  / |         |\  \                                                               |
    \  \|    |     | \  \             _/__/  |         | \ /
     \  \    '     |  \__\      .     \  /   |======= _-/ /         .
      \/ \.........| _)_  \_          /_/    |*******|__|/
   .   |_/         .|   \\\ |                |***||****|    .          .
        |    _     ||       |                |***||****|
        |   | |    |'_______'                |***||****|
        |   | |    |                         |***||****|
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
  /______________/   \        /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/   \     /_\\\\\\\\\\\\/   \
--|                  | ------ |               |   | --- |             |  .|---
  |______   .#######.       ________________  |   |             ______|.' |
  |       .### #######.   .'And this one is '.   .'  .--.--.._        |  .'
  '----- .###  ########  (  definitely a      ) '  .'     (_. `.  ----' '
         ###  __. .__ )  /' copy!!          .'    (_______/  '_ )
         {.  ( @ : @)(  / / ----------------       :(@)  \ (@)\/
          #      \    ) |/                         |     _)    }
          '    _\_)_  \                            (   _____   )
           \  (_____)  )                            ( (_____) )      .'
            )    _    /                              '__    __'
         __/'--_____--|__     .                    __/  ----  \__
        /        v       \                        /              \
       /   /|    |     .  \          .           /  .          .  \        .
       \  \ |    '    | \  \                    /  /|          |\  \
        \  \'    |    |  / /                    \ / |          | \ /
         \  \    .  /\ _/ /             .        \ \-_        _-/ /
          \/ \   | /  / \/                        \|__|======|__|/
           \_/... /   \/                            |**********|
            |    /     /                            |***/  \***|
            |   _\    /            .                |***|  |***|       '
 '.         |  | |\  /          .                   |***|  |***|
   .        |  | | \/|                               \***\ |***|
            |  | |   |                                \***\|***|
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.                                       |
  |  .  | .---. .---. .--   .--  |                ___________________    '
  |  |  | |-- | |-- | |--   \    |              .' 'Ere you two..    '.
  '_____' |   | |   \ '__  __'    ....         ( Either buy something, ) |
                             .::''':::'''::     ' or NAFF OFF!       .'
  `.---.    .   .  .--      .::'   '''   '::.  / /-------------------    |
   |-- |    |   |  \        ::             ::  |/                        '
   |   \    '___' __'     (\(   \__    __.  )/)                          |
                           ) )  (_o)  (o_) ( (                           |
                           \{        \      }/
   K \/\/ A L i T y          (   ,_(__)_,  )                             .
                            _ '  \______' '                              |
   S o F t \/\/ a R e Z    (\/\           /\                _            '
                          __'  '===___==='  '__ __________ //__
   S i N c E  1982!     .'         ===         '          |  ==:         |
                       /            .          ___________\____'
sssssssssssssssssssss /    /        |         \                          |
                     /    /|        .         |                          ;
     -------------------------------------------------------------
    / .---.  ___ __   _________.   ____    /\\----.    /-----/ / \ \     |
   / /___// /  ////  /G-string /  /   /\  / //   /    /Zzap!/ /  /  \    .
  /  ====' /__////  / fighter /  /___/ / /______/__  /_____' \  /    \   |
 /    /    /      / ----------   \___\/      /,,,,,//         \/      \  '
     /____/ ------                          /_____//                   \
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    /____________/   \           /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/   \      /_\\\\\\\\\\\/
    |            |   |           |             |   |      |            |
--- |________        | --------  '             |   | ---- |            |
 .  |       .#######.      __________________     .'      |------------|
    '____ .### #######.  .'You're selling    '.    |      |   .--.--.._'
         .###  ######## (  copied games, and   ) .'       ' .'    (_.  `.
         ###  \_. ._/ )  /  I DON'T LIKE IT! .'            (______/  '_  )
  .      {.  ( @ : @)(  / /'-----------------               :(@) \ (@) \/
          #      \    ) |/                                  |    _)     }
   '      '    _\_)_  \                .--------------.     (     _     )
           \  |_____|  )             .'Beside which,   '     (   (_)   )   .
            )    _    /        .     | mumsy said that  | /|  '__    __'
 .          '--_____--|__           (  market traders   '// __/  ----  \__
          /      v       \           | are common people / /              \
         /  .    |     .  \          | who all smell    ( /  /|         |\ \
        /  /|    '    | \  \         | like toilets!   .' \  \|         |/ /
       /  / '    |    |  / /          '---------------'    \  \_       _/ /
     _/  /  |    .    |_/ /                                 \ /\\=====/ \/
    | \ /   |    |    | \/                       .            \/******\/.
    /\/     ..........'_|                                     |***|\****|
            \        /               .                        |***| |***|
            |   __   \          '               .             |***| |***| '
    '       |  |  \   \                                       |***| |***|
      .     |  |   \   \      '.                              |***| |***|
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -                            |
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.                                       |
  |  .  | .---. .---. .--   .--  |   . .          ___________________    '
  |  |  | |-- | |-- | |--   \    | '  .   '     .'RIGHT!! COME HERE  '.
  '_____' |   | |   \ '__  __'    ....   .     (  YA LITTLE F*CK*RS!!  ) |
                             .::''':::'''::     ' ___________________.'
  `.---.    .   .  .--    '..::'   '''   '::   / /        _              |
   |-- |    |   |  \        ::             :: / /        /#\  SMAK!      '
   |   \    '___' __'   . (\(   \__    __/  )/)/         |#|    .        |
                           ) )  (_*)  (*_) ( (           |#|         .   |
                           \{        \      }/        \  |#| / .   '`
   K \/\/ A L i T y          (   ,_(__)_,  )          -' |#|' -   .  .
                            _ '  |______| '           /  |#|
   S o F t \/\/ a R e Z    (\/\           /\             |#|  .#######.
   __.---.                __'  '===___==='  '__          |#|.##### #####.
.-'       '.  1982!     .'         ===         '\        |#|#####  ######
     (\_____)          /            .            \       |#|(./\   ######'
    .' (@:\  ssssssss /    /        |         \   \____/\|_|:* ))) .} ###
. {a      _)         /    /|        .         |\       |   |/       ####'
 -     ._|           \   \ |                  | '------'--'|_/|/\   #.'
 (_   (__             \   \         |         |          |#| ....   '
   \     )             \   \_       .         |           V [      (
    '___'               \__/ /                |              \_.____).
   /    \               '-.__\ --------------/              /         \
  | |  | \                   |               |             /          /
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 _____________________________
| One swift beating later.... |
'-----------------------------'            *       .---------------------.
                 .---.__                *  .   .  | Those annoying kids   |
               .'       '_.            .  _._ _   | arses are the perfect |
  \/\/hine!   (_____/)     \          *  /   \\\  ' place to get rid of   '
              , /o)) '.     )            \    //  | my dodgy copied games |
 /\/\oan!!  '. (_      a} .'           *  \  // . | Arf arf!              |
              .  |_--.   -              __|,//     '___    ______________'
                  ____) _)__--__----/.-'  ) ) *        \  |
     .#######.   (     /            |    ( (_________   \ |      ....
   .##### #####.__'___'  /     _ __ |     `----------.)  \| .::''':::'''::
   #####  ###### _______/__ * / \\\\ _______________  )    .::'   '''   '::.
 . (./\/  ######'       *  . |   \ /   *            \(     ::             ::
., := ))) .} ###        . *  \   // .                '   (\(  \___   ___/  )/)
.  /       ####'             _\.//   *     ___            ) ) (_@)   (@_) ( (
  (_/\/\   #.' .----___--\.-'   ) )  .      |hrob!        \{       \       }/
    ____]  '--'         /      ( (______                    (  ,_(__)__,  )
   [      (             |       `-------.)                 _ ' \__    _/ '
    \_.____)-\  /       |      ._______  )                (\/\    '--'   /\
             / /'.______\.----'        \(                __'  '===___==='  '__
    _/\_____/ /                         '              .'         ===
   :__\______/                                        /            .
                                                     /             |
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
      ___.
     / __ \   .-,   _____    ____     ____
  ._/ /_ \/  /  /\ /     \  /    \   /    \
 /_  __/    /  /  / /   / \/ /   /\ / /   /\
  / /____  /  /  / /_\ /  / /_\ /  / /_\ /  /
 /______/ /__/  /_____/  /_____/  /_____/  /   ,_
 \_______/\____/\_______/\_______/\_______/    |  e \/\/ a r d . . .
                                               '
  For information leading to the loss of all your teeth to a pissed off
  market trader. Hardly worth it really? Why not try something safer,
  like grassing up your playground games swapping mates. Go on, you
  know you want to!
                                                          .         .
                                                         (')       (')
                                                          \\.-----.//
  /|                                                       {       }
 /=|NY INFORMATION ON PIRACY SHOULD BE PASSED               )*   *(
     TO THIS DEFUNCT TELEPHONE NUMBER WHICH USED            \, ^ ,/
     TO BELONG TO F.A.S.T (The Federation against          //:===:\\
     Software Theft.)                                     (.)'___'(.)
                           071-497 8973                    '       '
   _ _ _ _ _            (Beep-beep-duuuuuuuh!)              PIRACY
  |E:L:S:P:A|                                             IS NAUGHTY!
   - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
      ,,    ,,
     (  )  (  )            .---  .   . .--.   .--.    .--  .---.  .--.  .
     |  |  |  |           /     /__ / /__ /  /__ :   /    /    / /__ / /
  ,, |  |  |  |          /     /   / /   /  /   \   /    /    / /   / /
 (  )|  |  |  |.-..-.   '.___ '   ' '   '  '     ' '.__ '.__.' '   ' '.__
 |  ||  \ /   |\  \  \
 (  \'   v     /_ /_ /       "This parody is best before December 1986!"
  \  \   '    ((_((_))
   \          '- '- '
    |  Dildo Fatwa |       .---  .--   .--.    .    .--   .--.   .-.   .--
    '.  are...     |      /__   /__   /__ :   /    /__   /__ /  '     /__
      \           .'     /     /     /   \   /    /     /   /   '.   /
       |          |     '     '.__  '     ' '.__ '.__  '   '  '._.' '.__
       .~~~~~~~~~~.
      |############|         "Turbo Bottom Hunt on the ZX Spectrum?"
      |############|         "Ah yes, I remember that!"
      |# ##########|
      |# ##########|
      |# ##########|       .---.  .---.  .---.  .--    .---.
      |# ##########|      /___.' /    / /   /  /      /    /
      |# ##########|     /      /    / /   /  /      /    /
      |# ##########|    '      '.__.' '    ` '.___\ '.__.'
      |# ##########|
      |# ##########|         "I love the smell of tape copiers in the morning!"
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(C) Dildo Fatwa Ascii collective, November/December 2004.