__ .' '. ____ __ _ __ / \ |----\ /-- |--\ /--| ____ ( D ) || \ //__ || \/ | ||---| | i | || / \\ || | || | ' l | |____/ \__ || | '____' _ | d | ____ ___ | | | F o ' |----\ | /\ |---\ |. | || : a | || \ | /__\ ||__/ ||__| | | t | || / || // \ || \ --| | w ' |____/ |' || | | \ |___| * | a | | : '-._ _.-' WHAT!! WHY?? THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT! "" The making of 'Bud Teh Chud in ASCII Minor! Day 1! aBout uS... Dildo Fatwa are a dedicated group of three talented people, thrust into a unwilling spotlight by the presures of celebrity and xtreme demo coding. We are as folows; 'Ferlease', our main grafics man, and inspiration for this demo, He comes qwalified with a degree (Btec Third class) from the university of Life, and can not be equalled when it comes to cranking out the ol' ascci like buggery! I'm 'Charcoal', the writer of this ongoing, live, realtime, city in lockdown styled realtime demo dairy, which is like a video diary, but only its done in text form. I'm the main dude behind the coding that makes this thing posible in the first place. My habits are generally popular and less reclusive than Ferlease, but hotels like to count the number of towels they've got after Ive been to visit them! Cheeky cnuts! The thrid member of this kewl group comes from the mid-1970's pages of a publication called "Krazy Comic", he is none other than our very own 'Pongo Snodgrass', and he is providing the musical input, and smells,in the demo. He is kewl too, for the very simple reason that if he got hot, he could be classed as one of Sadam Hussiens 'Weapons of massive deastruction'! Anyway, enough of us, you want to kno more about the demo now? Well it was back in Mid-Simmer last year, that we got around to talking about an all- time great Atari demo, that had hardly been seen by anybody. It had been coded by Ferlease, back when he was working on his own. It was called "Bud the Chud", and had only ever been shewn to a select few ppl at the local Atari club. Ferlease was very misterious about the exact nature of this demo, he wasnt even sure where the disk with it on was anymore. Several search attempts for it were foiled by various illments on Ferleases part. After the last one, which was a poorley ear, we aborted, looking for the original disk, and decided to make our own vastly remixed tribute instead. There will be some changes from the orijinal. ferlease made a pact with a minor Milk God, and sacrifised his coding powers, for the no less valauble ability to draw stuff in asci. Ive taken over the main coding roll, so this demo will be an ascci tribute, as in "BUD TEH CHUD in ASCII MINOR"! Anyway, weve got a plan, Pongo has already come up with a tune, and it Whiffs! And Ferlease is starting to do some graphics, so time to roll! Day 2 We had a listen to Pongo's modfile tune, and we were slightly worried aobout what seemed to be a remix of samples from the Maybelline 'Becuase your worth it!" tellevision commercial. At this point we decide to ask Ferlease what this Bud the Chud thing is all about. He is happy to tell us. It is all about this mutatoed underground monster that lives in the sewers and comes out to atack people at night. It was a kult film, some time ago, in Australai. Even better, he is abl to give us samples from his coppy of the film, so I get Pongo to ditch the silly shite, and start again with the real stuff on the musiks. A bit later, I found an alternativ deffinition of 'Chud' in an very old issue of 'Disk Maggy'. THis had a regular collum from the kings of wit and wisdom, the 'Mutant Ninja Turtles', and it was cool. They described a Chud as a "Terd". I must say that I noticed severel mispellings in their writings, and I think that misspeling 'Turd' as 'Terd', is infanttile and laugheable to say the least! Day 3 Pongo is strugglng with the demo modfile, he tries somethign with the new samples, but fails. He declares that "It Stinks!" Ferlease, not usually noticed for his ligtning wit, immedietelly retorts "And so do you!" It took me, Charcoal, over an hour to brake up the resultent fight. At this rate, w'ell never get this demo finnished! Day 4 Attention shifts away from Pongo to myself for a while, as I atempt the very first lines of kode for the asci-displayer engine. I reach back into my heritige of coding acheivments, going rite back to schoolday times with the folowing 10 Print "Teacher is a homersexaul!" 20 Goto 10 This amuses everyone for a time, the hwole rest of today infact, we fall about laughing. Pongo nosebleeds, and Ferlease makes a noise like he has just pikced up a major lung disordar, at wich point, we stop laurghing. Day 5 As group leader, cordinator, and kicker of backsides in genneral, it is down to me to organize group funds, so its of to the old marketplace to sell faifully reprojuced high qualite copies of softwares and DVDs, otherwize known as 'Warez', yes, I think you get the piccture! Lots of ppl were very pleased to see me, appart from two heavy built men who claimed to be policeman and arested me! I mean, they werent dressed as policeman, not being in police uniformed and all. Its not fiar, if anyone can go around dressed like you and me, and act as policeman, how do we kno when to run awa when we see policeman? Anyway, they asked me lots and lots of questions, and kept me at the policesstation for a long time. They only let me go very late, and said that I would be going to cort for this. They rekoned that I could go to prisson for a time, which would really nacker up making this demo! Bugger! ## Six Months Pass ## Charcoal's worst fears come to pass, as he gets to spend the next six months "At her majesty's pleasure." Well I've always wondered what strange thrill the queen gets out of people going to prison? Does she jump up and down in excitement on her throne when a butler or equerry brings out the latest list of convicts being sent down??! Royal Butler - "And next on the list is Arthur Scrote, who has been sentenced to two years for burglary!" Queen - "Oh goody! I'm so excited, but hurry up and get to the mass murderers, now the custodial sentences for those reprobates really hit the spot!" In the meantime, whilst Charcoal is undergoing his enforced downtime, the other two, Ferlease and Pongo, manage to spend the time usefully by doing nothing at all! Day 6, and six months later I am bak! And I have had to be verry careful in bending down to pik up the soap in the shower for a while! Jeez! Prison suckks! And while I have been away, the other two groupmembers have been idol, as I thought they might. Its only a coupple of months to go to the Eror in Line party now, so if we want to release Bud teh Chud, Id better get kracking the whip and use some of the juicier tecniques of prison beahaviour modifikation that I learned from the 'Mr Big' when i was inside! Day 7 Pongo has come up with a prototyp of his modfile. It has all the samples that we grabed from the film in, and sounds like a special hospital for sick donkeys. I tolld him this, and he thanked me, said that was exacktly the effect he was working for. Day 8 Not a lot happened today, Scottisch bank holiday, so we all dresed up in skirts and yelled "Hoots mon!" in a totolly not stereotippical way. Not that some of us need any exkuse to dress up, eh Pongo! Day 9 Ferlease gets lippy with the asciii, but he presents his first atempt and asks us "Can you see what it is yet?" We say (truthfuly) "No we can't!" Ferlease suggests holding the monnitor screen upsidedown, so the little stickmen start to make shapes that you and I can rekognise. I suggest holding Ferlease upside-down until he makes more senze! Ferlease storms off in a huf! Ah well, who said this demo making lark was evver going to be eazy? Day 10 My eforts on the demo-engin are starting to bear friut at last. As I have been waching the hors-racing on the telly, I will codenam it off one of the racecorses. Im' torn between naming it "Goodwood", "Uttoxeter" or "Sandown" at the mo. Ferlease, who is still in a bad mood since yessterday suggest I call it "Horseflop"! Well he'l hav to eat his wurds when he sees the finnished artikle shortly! Day 11 Goodwood - She runs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Day 12 Well, for a minut, anyway, damm bugs! Day 13 Ferlease is 'geting inspiration' from the internet, looking up 'Asci-art' on the serch engine 'Ggogle'. Unfortunatly, he has stumbled accross loads of asci nudes. At the best of times, Ferlease is moer than a bit suseptible to the lure of ladies flesch picctures, and this new diemension just makes him ten times worse! From the permannently glazed stair on his face, we wonder if we are evver going to get him bac into this world??? Day 4teen (See the day beffores entry.) We haf to take many desparate measures, starting with pulling the plug on Ferleases internet computor, and wiping all 80196 porno pics off his hardrive. A trajic waste, you all kry, but shok treatment is the only way to restor normal funktion to Ferlease. By evening, it seems to be starting to wurk, as Ferlease is able to walk unaded, and hold basik conversations with the other group members. Mabey we can get started bac on demo stuffs tommorow. Day 15 An odor of latrines anounces that Pongo is coming up with another remix of his demo modfile. He is using his own cusstom tool caled 'Stenchtracker' - He he, how apropriate! His latext produktion is innteresting aswell. It uses the Chud samples, and also a load of bear growls and Comodore 64 sqeaks. I think we are turrning the korner at last. Now we just need Ferlease to cum out of his post-porno truama, and wel'l get this demo finnished, in like, no time at al! Day 16 Not a lot hapens today. Ferlease had a cool idea for some kind of take-off of teh famous 'Lost Blubb' demo by classic mid-ninties Faclon coding wizzards Layzer. He rekoned that he could do one of the screens in it. I recon that he is covertely drooling over martina! Still, he thinks he is ontto something, so wel'l see! Day 20 (!) Well were not really shure what day it is at the mo. Our groupmeeting went very well, infact, all too well, and we went out on the olde towne, and held the groupmeeting in several local pubs. As Ferlease is a reluctant alcoholik at best, Pongo had to drink a doubble share, and so he ended up rather unwell. Still, beforr my brane stopped recording, it gave me some usefull tips on coding pavement pizza plasma stylee effects for the demo! The drinking parts of the crew feel like their sense of space and time has been randomley sodomised by a gangg of albeeno monkeys! so it is only now that I am abl to tel you all this! Day 21 We're going to a get toegether at the house of the part time Sweed, Deezel, in a coupple of days. We should be meeting up with the Reservior Bogs and others there. I should have a preeview of the first part of the demo running, if I can suss out this damnm skrolling in time! PS. I also saw the furst version oF Ferleases 'Lost Chud' screen, not too shabby, but reduced by two thirds when I made him take out the Martina worshiping and drooling! DEEZEL's HOUSE! Pre-EIL Grope-meeting, and with others including the Reservior Bogs! This was coolness dot org levels of coolness. We did a sort of live, realetime report, as it hapened. Lots took place, and the folowing people were there. Stumpy, siting quietely in the korner, burning holes in his clothes with a soldiering iron, and mumbling about being too olde to go out to clubs anymore, now he's ninetein years old. A bit of a sadcase, but good at fixing stuff. NSG, said "Heeey!" a lot, spent much time disagreeing with Mr Punk and sleeping in his wurm bag. Ferlease thinks he is feeling left out. Sparehen 3, Grafist for the Reservior Bogs. Spent most of the weekend on the same logo, but also talked to Ferlease exchanjing handy hints for interesting websites, hem hem! Mr Punk, Res Bogs groupleader and coder. Was working on a demo of his own, but wouldnt show us, even after we showed him the current work in proggress of Bud teh Chud, boooh! He did make up for this when he brought us drinkies at the 'Jazzmag and Jester' public house on Sunday. 'Deezel', our fine upstanding host, and owner of 3,770 Faclon computers, of which 3,668 were broken! (3,669 after Saturday night!) Ourselves, the cool group, Dildo Fatwa, of course! Here goes with the realtime RTA! Friday 14th March. Not got there yet, Ferlease is driving, and does not like the darrk, so we will go on Satruday morning instead! Saturday 15th March. 12.00pm Charcoal writes:- We're here! We found Deezel's houase, after loads of driving around Lemington Spar. Should have realised that we had to aim for the dodgy part of town, where council house children are barely kept in chek with thin pieces of string. That is wher Deezel chooses to live! Still, w'ere here, and so are all the others. 13.39 NSG: I have a sore neck, it hurts 14.23: Ferlease: Aye, I'm sure it'll get better soon! 16.11 Sparehen 3: 'Cannibalistic Poodle Holocaust' on the Gamecube rules, but when is Mr Punk going to convert it to the ST for us Atari kidz to enjoy! 20.32: Deezel: Looks like the preceding fifteen pages of witty flowing realtime dialogue, written in a flash of Wildean wit and humour have all been deleted by my TT running a dodgy ethernec driver, and no-one saved it, hmmm... 21.02: Charcoal: Chinese, my favourite, yum yum! Not a lot productiv happening. Deezel is doing something in the corner, but everone else is dicking around, still, maybe the food wil help? 10.10: And let's do it again! (Pongo wuz 'ere!) 12.02 It's Sunda! And Charcoal once more on the keyz. The productiv happenings have turned into a mass orgie of demo watching, everybodie playing breath-holding games between Cobrra 'Revertant' demo rendering and drawing a new frame! Ferlease nearly went the whole distanse but turned blue, so had to stop. 01.03: Ferlease: Night all, off to bed ATM, see u in the morning! 02.47: NSG: My neck still hurts, ST and Faclon disks do not seem to like the other machine. Looks like the Atari compatible is doomed to fail. 11.10: Charcoal here, at around 03.00, we al decided to find the neerest bit of floorspace to crash on. I mannaged to get my own bit of floor upstairs, but Mr Punk decided to sleep in the gardan shed! Now affter last nights chineese bloatfest, we're all hungrie and roaring to go for some more food. Right, were outta here! And that was the last we herd from the realtime RTA. Afterwords, Deezel took us to the aforementioned 'Jazz Mag and Jester' pubic house, which also serves up some good food. I had the graet British 'hert attack on a plate', a full scale fried brekfast. It ruled! Pongo opted for something that was moestely baked beanz, which we suferred on the journy back. Ferlease semed happy with a suasage in a bun. Tears and ghoodbyes followed Sparehen 3 to the railway station, then it was time for a spedy juorney home in Ferlease's kar, with much wind 'assistanse' from Pongo, thanks very much not! The week after the Meet: It is only now four weeks to EIL! Must get krakking! Day 27 WAR! War!, What is it good for? Well, its paid off in a neat "MAKE CHUD, NOT WAR!" screen! Progres on the rest of the demo is going well to. Plus I had a big long chatt with Sparehen 3 on chanel Atari IRc. He is drawing some "Tarrty grafix" for the Reservior Bogs EIL production. I hope some of them are Lesbien themed, prefferabley gurl on gurl action! Day 28 Another bit of good news I must share with yuo all, Ferlease has finaly boocked the fairy crossing for Eror In Line, so its officail, Dildo Fatwa will be at the party! Digresion note:- I read something on the Dedd Hakers Buletin Board the other day. "Kool Gurls stop Aniplayer development!" Now forgiv me if Im acting stupid, but I was'nt awair that Kool Gurls were doing stuffs for Aniplayer? I thought it was that Diddyerm bloke from Francaise or somewhere doing that? Maybe Kool Gurls demo has a hidden aniplayer screen in it, but i doubtb it somehow!? Day 30 Just over three weeks (count 'em!) to EIL now! It is also just a handful of dayz away from the anniversaire of last Easter, and our disasterus outing to the Meka Simposium last year! Ah, what fond memoires we hav of that parrty, NOT! Pongo enjoid it for a time, as it was like his entire family tree, wierd couzins from siberia and all, had comm to visit. I would swear that these peopl, (only in teh loosest sense!) wer even less houstraned than Pongo ever could be. Afther the first coupple of days pelting people with rotting rubish and shouting inkoherantely with bad breth, even Pongo had had enouff! Ther were some other Arati ppl there too, but I dont think they were enjoyeing it eether. The compos went on for farr to long, but not with to much in the way of arati stuffs. In a way, we have Meka to thank for partlyy inspireing us to do 'Bud teh Chud' for this easters 'Eror In Line' party. And I can gaurantea you, there wil be *no* repete of the demo famin from last year, with us on the case! Day 33 Not a lot hapened over the last few days. We spend mych time watching the tele for news on the War. We think all that shootydeth sucks and hope it is over soon. On a lighter note, we marrked the first anniversarie of our journey to Meka Simposium with a curse and a spit! Now if they wanted to test thier wepons of Shock and Aww anywhere, it should be in lovely sunny fuck all to see and do Harwich! Anywa, got to get kracking on the new version of 'Goodwood' and get this demo to the finnish line. Day 34 Pongo has found a cheep hotel in Harwich, so as to aviod the cocked-up journay and late arival for the feery we had last year. Me and Ferlease are all in favour, but we're not shure about the name of the place. "The Sodomie Arms Hotel" Hmmmm? Pongo went and booked the place annyway. Day 36 Even beffore 'Chud' is finished, we start to think of our next producktion. Yes, there wil be more to come from us! I'm thinking of ading xtra features to 'Goodwood', most of which probabley won't be used until next time. No firm ideaz as yet, but one or two thorts, and the most likely venue for the neXT demo will be the Altered Party in Finnland, whenever they hav another one. The Altered Parties that weve been to, have all been kool. Especially the last one, which in the depfths of winter, was *very* kool indeed, appart from the Suana, which Pongo wasnt too keen on! Anyway, there have been no Artari prods there for a while, and I'm not imppressed with Wiztum working on the same old Shadebobbins routin from the prevoius year. Meybbe we can shame him into finnishing something? DILDO FATWA, SETS THE EXAMPPLE FOR OTHERS TO FOLOW! Day 38 Eror in Line gets ever closer, as there are onnly two and a bit weeks left to go. Time flys when you are having ffun! I am plesed to anounce that the entire second part of 'Bud Teh Chud' has bean compleated as of tonight. After remooving countles amuzing bugs in the scriptfile, which werent aparrant when teh individual constiteunt parts were running on thier own, I finaly got it all to run. Tomorow, we're going for a full build of the compleated demo. Be back then! Day 39 Full build of the demo, v1.0 went uncanily smoothley. It works!, It is complete, and we're stil two weeks to go to the party! Looks like all the footsloging with the scriptfile paid off at last! The only small thing is, that it comes in at something over four minites, which is amazeing, but Pongo's modfile musix dribbles to a stop at arond two and a quartor minutes. Clearley, he is going to knead to go back to the drooling board and redo his musix to make it fit. At leats, Ferlease and I can put our feetses up for a time :) Day 43 If I could rerite hisstory, I may have wished to have eaten my most recently written wurds ;-) The fun al started when I tryed to add modtracker replai code to the Goodwood engine. A job wich I thouht would be easy turned out to be annything but. Even geting the help of ppl like Mr Punk, and his friend Gruff couldent solve the problem. The replai worked, but it sounded like a very sick horse being draged across barbed wire, a sound even worse than anny of Pongo's modfiles! In the end, we mannaged to rig some zikplayer code to work instead. Which meens that there will be NO modfile for this demo, so al Pongo's hard work and weird and cruel funny samples wont go in this demo :( Insted, it is bakc to basics with some zikmusik, and Pongo has been sent awa to come up with something a littel bit Madmax sounding. Pongo is mutering under his breth, as he only has a week and a bit to we start to travail to Eror in Line. These things are sent to piss us off, etc, etc ;-) Day 47 Now only a week to go to EIL! Yayhay! Better get our demo finnishing shoes on though! It is nearrly all done now, I've been triming the fat off the thing, got rid of one or two of the less, hem, charismatik effects, and tightenned the rest of it up a bit, as the hole thing seems to hav got a litle bit, erm, slow running. I think we might haf to downplay the fackt that it runs on an ST, and show it at the party on a Faclon ;-) Ah well! After avoiding the subjeckt for three days, Pongo is starting to get to gripps with blip-blopping, and earlie indications are prommising there :) He's been making some weird phat sounds tonight, which he'll haf to turn into five minuts of tune somewhow! I'll let you kno how that goes over the next feww days, then its off to the partie! Day 49 Pongo is coming up slowlly with a tune, wel, its more of a soundskape concept, with weird YM synth sounds, and the odd katchy rhythm. Theres about a minut and a half left to do, not to mention the fact that the replay sorce code makes parts of it sound even wierder! Who sed this demo making lark was eazy? Stil, Pongo sais it should be finnished tommorrow, which means that the demo *is* finaly ready for the partty showing. (Might knead a bit of tidying up after though!) It looks like we are stayying with the jolly Dutchmen again on thursdai, as Ferlease has been in kontact with Clomp 7, and we are off to Ewetrecht. But we will meet with Havuck, the very tall grafician, on Friday when we all travail to EIL toggether. Havuck is so tall, that his head has snow on the topp of it! (he he!) Or is that some other white powder, as we al kno what these Dutchies are like for farmacutical rekreations! Day 50 Affter three days locked in a room, with nothing but Ziktrakker for company, Pongo has finnally come up with the goods. I have managed to make it sit uneasily with the rest of the demo. Ziktrakker replay really sucks donkeys knobs, as it is ST-based, with littel or no rekognition of the Faclon. Still, moer by acident than desine, the music more or less syncked with the demo. I can say that we are just about reddy for the party now, and good job too, as we start to travail midweek, only about three days from now! Back tommorrow, where we'll start the countdown to EIL! Day 51 Nott a lot to say today, only two days to go before we set off for Eror in Line. Affter all the panik in putting the demo together, tonight has been a curiouz anticlimacks, and I have been sitting online mostley talking to other Atari pple. In other news, I have been serching out my gonk bag and aerbed, blowing the kobwebs out. Pongo preffers to leave the kobwebs in his ;-) Day 52 These arr my last words before the party takes place, and beffore the showing of the demo.. Hopefuly, the demo will run okay. I have coppied it onto several MOT failure flopy disks which will hopefuly hold the datas on them ;-) Hopeffully, the competition showing won't be a desaster, and ppl will love Bud teh Chud. And hopefuli Ferlease won't end upp 'missing in action' in the Amsterdamn Red light district on the wai home!! See you all after the party! - Charcoal EIL PARTY IMPRESSIONS and Aftermath! Day whatever. YAAAY! We made it to the party and we got bak safely aswell, even affter several hilaroius misdirection adventures onm teh wai there. Day 1 of party, we traveled across on the fairy 'Stena Discography', which had a Macdonlads, and sevveral bars, and a large shop, which was cool. Less cool, was the car journey through Rottendamn, which had too many cars, not to mention the Utrek oneway sysstem, which kept us in its grip whilst Ferlease vainly looked for the Redlight distrikt! Still we found the house of Clomp7 in the end, and he was cool too, making Pongo slepe out on the balcony to dissperse the stench! Day 2 was taken with much traveling, firstly to Havuck's house in the sky, where all the Dutchie guys traveling over to Dresden were to meat up. In adition to the guys, there was also a girl traveling with us, way cool! She was the gurlfriend of Tinkerer, one of the other Dutch guyz. We took on another passenger, Earxwax, in exhange for some of our gear to go in one o the other cars.. We al set off in convoye to Dresden, around halfpast five, and kept up with them most of the way. Until we were wel into Eastern Germany, then a big rainstrom seperated us, and at one stage, we hade to get oars out, to paddle the car to dry land! We got to Dresden sometime affter midnighte, using Pongo to frighten direktions out of people to get to the partyplace 'Tuskulem'. When we got in, people had assumed we had drowned and gone mising in the rainstorm, but we set up next to the Reservior Bogs, right in the midle of NSG perforrming a human sakrifice or something. After seting up, all the travel related excitment was too much, so we went to bedd. Day 3, the Saturday, we gott up and Pongo celebrated our arival, by ordering an egg flavor pizza from Amihgo Pizza. Sure likes to make his presense known, does our Pongo. I showed 'Bud teh Chud' to Havuck, first thing, and he thort it was very funy! We saw loadsa other scene ppl there too. The Dead Smackers, and Deezel were hard koding in the barroom, we had a chat with Amstrad Survivor, and Meuhndog, who were both down for the graffics compo, and a cool Norwegian dude 'NerVous', and his hottie blonde gurlfrende, phwoarr! There were a load of Frenchie guys there, with Chuckup of Doon heading them. They semed to be working on some new Eror in Line demo stuffs as well. We got a look at 'The Serious Cybernetiks Corp' new Faclon demom, which looks like it will rock, or some other musikal style favoured by their groupleader Low-tech, or MC Later. He was running around with free koppies of a disk labeled "Pup-stars", which turned out to be a musiks compilation made by the pet dogs of famous YM chip composors! Cool, releases, and the kompetitions still a day off! The bigg surprize, was the emergence of Deafjam, as he was nott expected to com to the party, but here he was, entering his long-awated ST demo, follow-up to that first EIL smasher! We kan hardlly wait until the compo's now! Speking of which, the first lot of compos, the graficks and sound, were shown at a somewhat delayed time of 03.00 next morrning. We got to see some of Ferleases ascii art stuff, which was nice, but the mane event, is, of course tomorow night, with the big demo compos, and the first public showing of 'Bud te Chud'! Day 4 started quietly, it was eazy as a Sunday morning. We al got up fairlly late, and Ferlease and Pongo went on a guided tour of the parkies of Dresden. I fellt fairly tired, and had to stai behind to get the demo entrie in to the organizers. I think that drinking the homemade whine and some beer may have contributed to my tiredness (grin!) Ferlease and Pongo had a small argument over who was the more flatulent in the sleepingroom gym last night, Pongo arguing that he wass not to blame for some of the more sulfurous outporings, and Ferlease was providing some of the moer entertaining emissions! I decided to taek a shower under the xtra-strong setting thermonucklear powered showers, and pronounced the experienze satisfactorie, after retreeving myself from the drains. I also got too see a cool Atari 8-bit demmo called "Numen". Some of the acktion moved outdors when the organnisers held a barbequeue, cooking german style horses-willy sausages, which werre great eaten with musstard. Eventualy, Ferlease and Pongo returrned, and the long waite until the compos started folowed. Part of the long waite was broken up by a 'Whip- Pong' competition, which wasn't what it soundded like from Pongo's point of view. Certainly, ther wasnt any saddo-masochistik sex and smels on offer, which is what Pongo thought, and which is why he enttered! Insted, lots of yelling to kontrol a pong game. To be fair, Pongo mannaged to get through to the quarter finals by a proces of armpit noisemaking, so he did quiet well. The compos themselves started at 01.00 in the morrning. Lots of entrie's, with Baggo's film of his toilet geting aplause. Lots of neato intros, then, it was our turn, as Bud teh Chud was shewn on the main screan!! The moment was hear, with a great hush from the gathered krowds. It gott lots of loud applause at the end, even after the musak replay sounded shitty on their bigscrean. I thort we would win at that stage, until the big hitters kame out, that is! Kurses to Dead Smackers and Deafjam (grin!) Their entrys realy put our stuffs to shame! Typical, no demos for two years, than a shitload at once! Also the Reservior Bogs were in there and fighting hard too, and the Serious Cybernetics guys and Excape managed to make the Faclon section unforgetable too! We wer up against it, and wuld have to wait until the morrning to see how 'Bud teh Chud' measured up against such strong kompetitions! Day 5. The votes wer counted, and I managed to rouse myself, and wake the others beffore the awwards ceremoney started. It looked like al the good prizes wer going to Dead Smakers, Excape, and Deafjam, but what's this, we get our own kategory, and 31725 votes!!! YEAAH! WE WON!!! But wot is, this, FAKE DEMO! I don't remmember entering for the fake demmo compo!?!?! Ferlease and Pongo are filosophical, for a first demo to get anny prize at all, even from the wrong compo, is a big acheevement, so I am hapy again :) Al too soon, we arre saying goodbye to the coolest scene guys at the coolest party on this planet, and starrting the long journey home. This is moer straightforrward than the arival, and we diskover that a full gastank on Ferlease's car, is *just* enuff to get us to Havuck's place. the shity part of the journey kiks in, with the last bit back to Clomp7's place, were the motorway is full of Dutchie people geting in the way. After an interresting diversion folowing some of Utrecks lesser known bus routines, we get back to Clomp7's, and crash sometime affter midnighte. Day 6. This is a spare day beffore we have to go bak to the United Kindon, so we opt to go to Amsterdamn, at Ferleases prompting. He is kene to see howe the Redlight district is doing, like it needs some new red bulbs or something? The rest of the day goes something like this:- Lots of walking, Macdonalds, Record shops, herbal cigarette emporiums and souveneer teeshirts, more walking, and a perilous parade through the narow alleywais of the redlight district. Perilious for one of the gurls who make a grab for Pongo, and instantly thort better of it! We ende up at the old gay sailor pub, which usefuly serves pints of booze at wallet deflating prices. A boat-trip folowes, down the kanals, and into the harbor, wher Pongo and his weak blader go to the toilet. All sorts of dead fish rise to the surface. We meet with Clomp7 for a meal out, which was stake, yummy! Finaly we go back to the old gay sailor pub, and the Redlight district is ful of old people, some of them combing their hair, after having going in one of the kabins (Hemhem!) and teh pub itselff is full of Brits. Affter that, we are on our way back to Clomp7's place in Utrek, for a final night sleping on the floor. Day 7. The journee home. Not a lot more to say now, we caught the fairy, and gott back home in good time, back to good old engerlund, the land of shite PeeCee retailers and lame games, and whingeing Edge magazine complaining that "things ain't wot they used to be" when they helped kill off how it used to be in the furst place! Ahh, fun times! Stil, if there is another one of these Eror in Lines, or wherever there is an Atariscene party, we'll be shure to be there! DILDO FATWA WILL RETURN! (c) Charlcoal, 2003