EASTER ISLAND

The transition from Winter to Spring on the island has been more marked than usual this year. Firstly, the weather, as reported in Issue 111, has been mainly dry and bright with little wind to speak of.

A number of other factors in the Winter to Spring transition combined to arrive over a single weekend. Friday last was Good Friday, Easter falling early this year. Friday also brought with it the start of the CalMac summer timetable and the first Friday evening ferry of the season. The photograph below (taken from a window in the Editorial suite in Corncrake Towers) shows a quiet and peaceful island, and was taken but an hour before the arrival of the MV Lord of the Isles carrying 189 passengers and 42 cars. In addition, 50 or so souls had arrived on the Wednesday ferry. Yes, the Winter slumber of the island was over :

With so many visitors around, Saturday was the perfect time to have a ceilidh and the evening saw the Hall alive to music and birling bodies and a grand time was had by all. There was however one last piece of the Winter to Spring jigsaw to go. At 2am on the Sunday, British Summer Time was ushered in, leaving one hour less to sleep off that hangover...

Finally, there may be some Readers who think that, the date of this Issue being the 1st of April, there will be an April Fool jape contained within these pages. Think again, however. Such is the reputation of The Corncrake for editorial integrity and as a bastion, nay, an embodiment, of Truth that we could not consider publishing anything that was not 100% bona fide...

THE TELLING OF THE SELLING

These have been difficult times for islanders with the Hotel doors remaining firmly closed since before Christmas. On the plus side, Tesco in Oban has reported massive increases in the sale of home-brew kits, ready-made meals and even recipe books (for the more adventurous amongst us). It has also been noted that there appears to have been fewer cars being hauled out of ditches this Winter, though this of course may be pure coincidence...

Anticipation ( and speculation!) was therefore high when the closing date for bids for the Hotel finally arrived...

It was a fine Spring day and the larks soared high in the blue, cloudless sky, unaware, momentarily at least, of the human commotion below them. There was only one frenzied topic of human conversation and, as the rumour mill reached fever pitch, there arose a smell of singed claws whenever an unsuspecting, innocent, little bird tried to rest for a moment on the telephone wires...

As the agonising, speculation-filled minutes ticked by, word came through the ether that one of the known bidders had been unsuccessful. Later, but only after the Shop had ran out of nerve tablets and toilet paper, did word filter through that the other two known bidders had similarly failed to secure a purchase.

Word had it by now that a fourth bidder, identity unknown (but greatly theorised upon), had submitted the highest bid, but that this bid was conditional upon a survey still to be conducted. This information took speculation to unprecedented heights and, with no bar in which to ruminate on these matters and no street corners in which to gather, impromptu huddles appeared like molehills all over the island.

Time passes slowly, but early the following morning, Alex's plane was seen heading toward the mainland, duly returning a couple of gossip-filled hours later. Sure enough, vehicles were soon seen to be parked at the Hotel, leading to gridlock on the Hotel brae as excited islanders just happened to pass by (several times - perhaps they just kept forgetting to get things at the Shop?). There were reports of papperazzi lurking behind the church dyke, but this surely dare not be true; this is, after all, The Corncrake's patch.

Eventually, as the dust settled and things calmed down, it became clear that some of the information being shared around the islanders was in truth mis-information, which, given the oxygen breathed into the topic, is hardly surprising. At the end of the day, it transpires that the Hotel has been acquired by a consortium led by the young laird himself, Alex Howard. Alex will have joint ownership with Dan Jago, a wine merchant, Hugo Arnold, a food writer and chef and, last but not least, Mark Matza, an accountant and company "doctor". The mix of talent and skills at the helm surely augers well for the long-term future of the Hotel.

And as for the big question on everyone's lips, Alex hopes that the bar can be re-opened within a two month period. He is not yet in a position however to put a timescale on the re-opening of the Hotel itself. Until such times, a photograph would seem appropriate, to whet our appetites and simultaneously remind us of what a bar actually looks like :

A LOOK AT EDUCATION TODAY

Modern day education extends far beyond the old concept of the three "R"s of Reading, Riting and Rithmetic. It's broad palette now includes the engendering of feelings such as interdependence, trust and cooperation. Children are encouraged to push themselves and not be reticent about trying new things.

And so it was that Carol MacNeill, Headteacher of Kilchattan Primary School, found herself at the activity centre at Castle Toward with three of her charges, Emma Gillespie, Morag Grant and Caitlin McNeill.

There was orienteering, archery, high-ropes, high-beams, a gorge walk and even a night-hike. Education can be fun too, as is evidenced in the photographs that Carol has provided The Corncrake with :

It is with regret that The Corncrake must advise that a photograph of Mrs MacNeill jumping from a tree platform was not available for publication...

MORE TROUBLE FOR CALMAC

Ferry operator Caledonian MacBrayne has launched an unprecedented attack on potential rivals for its West coast and Clyde routes, accusing them of mounting a "strategic attack" on its operations.

CalMac's head of communications, Hugh Dan MacLennan, said that the state-owned company was "under siege" from potential competitors flooding CalMac's offices with requests under Freedom of Information (FOI) legislation. CalMac is dealing with more than 100 requests for information from two rival companies alone, while the Scottish Executive is understood to have received about 400 FOI requests for information about CalMac's operations.

MacLennan said: "We are not saying that the [Freedom of Information] Act shouldn't be there, or should work only where we can easily answer public questions, but when it comes to being under siege by potential competitors, we have got to ask whether the reason is to undermine our operation."

CalMac directors are concerned that they are being asked to reveal sensitive information at a time when the company will probably have to tender for services to the 22 islands and 4 peninsulas which it currently serves.

Of the 159 FOI requests received since the beginning of the year, by far the greatest number of requests, 103 in all, have come from two potential competitors to CalMac - Arran Ferries and Western Ferries.

Western Ferries managing director Gordon Ross confirmed that the company had submitted about 40 requests to CalMac but denied the number was excessive.

Arran Ferries chief executive Russell McLean vowed the "FOI confetti" would keep coming, adding: "It's like a scab, we are picking at CalMac. It just keeps festering away."

Not exactly a statement to endear you to Arran Ferries then...

KEVIN AND CHRISTA IN CENTREFOLD SHOCK

Householders on the island were recently surprised and somewhat puzzled to receive, along with their Post, a copy of a very glossy magazine, obviously written in some strange language. Some never made it to the centrefold and, thinking that it was perhaps written in Lewis Gaelic (not the pure Colbhasa Gaelic), and the paper being too shiny and skiddy for any alternative purpose, simply threw it in the bin. These magazines were quickly retrieved however when word circulated that, adorning the centrefold, was a photograph of a very dapper looking Colonsay Piermaster and his ever smartly-dressed wife, Christa, in a room full of Italians.

The Italian magazine (not Lewis Gaelic after all, as Don McLeod later confirmed) "Dove?" (Where?) carried an eight page article on the sinking of the "Arandora Star" and Kevin and Christa's visit to Italy last September as Colonsay's representatives, when honorary Italian citizenship was conferred on every member of the island's population. Accordingly, the Italians had forwarded a copy of the magazine for each household on the island.

The publication is indeed written entirely in Italian, with the exception of a few pages accompanying the article which are in English. The writer of the few pages in English certainly knows a great deal of English language, but, as with most translations, there are amusing little idiosyncrasies. The writer also has a vivid imagination, and these two factors combine to make the article an engrossing read. For example :

"One of the main actor (sic) is surely Mr Kevin Byrne who, sat by the side of the Mayor Salvatorangelo Oppo, smiles and nods with his thick and characteristic red beard. Suddenly we think of him the classical sea dog and we see him on the fore bridge of a fishing boat that faces the storms of the North Sea."

Aye, well worth a read, and non-island Readers can find the full article in the Magazine section of this very Issue.

On the subject of the "Arandora Star", arrangements are now well in hand for the erection of a modest memorial at Leam a' Bhriar, where Donald Gibbie and his father recovered the remains of a victim of that tragedy. There will be a natural granite plaque affixed to a neighbouring cliff face, and the outline of a cairn to which visitors may add a stone. Although rather a remote spot, it is rather more accessible than Eilean nan Ron and will provide a memorial for all those whose remains were never recovered.

The following inscription has been commissioned:

Financial contributions towards this project continue to be sought. Contributions may be left at the Post Office, or may be posted to Kevin Byrne, "Arandora Star" Memorial, Isle of Colonsay, Argyll PA61 7YR. Credit card details are quite acceptable, but please provide a postal address to which a receipt can be sent.

THE SCOTTISH AIR AMBULANCE SERVICE

Readers may recall that as our previous Issue went to press, word was coming through that the Air Ambulance that serves the island had crashed into the sea off the Mull of Kintyre. It has since been confirmed that paramedic John Keith McCreanor, 35, a father of three - including a ten-week-old daughter, Skye - and pilot Guy Henderson, 40, the father of a 14-month-old boy, Calum, both lost their lives in the accident.

It is often the case in life that we do not fully appreciate what we have until some calamity occurs, and this tragic accident serves as a stark reminder to us all of the dedication of the healthcare workers and aircrew who provide this lifeline service every day of the year.

The Scottish Air Ambulance Service provides a lifeline to remote areas and islands, and cover is provided seven days per week, twenty four hours per day. Last year the air ambulance service carried out 3,251 missions using a six-strong fleet of aircraft. The service has four fixed-wing aircraft based in Kirkwall (Orkney), Lerwick (Shetland), Glasgow and Aberdeen, together with two helicopters based in Glasgow and Inverness.

Loganair has operated the aircraft for the service for almost 40 years, but last year, the Scottish Ambulance Service confirmed that Loganair had lost the contract to provide the service. Simultaneously it was announced that a new six-year, £40m contract had been awarded to English company Gama Aviation.
One result of this change is that from April 2006, the number of planes will be cut from four to two. The plan involves the replacement of four fixed-wing aircraft with two higher-specification planes and two helicopters. Gama Aviation will use two new Beech 200C Super King aircraft based in Aberdeen and Glasgow and two upgraded Eurocopter EC135T2 helicopters based in Glasgow and Inverness.

The funeral of Paramedic John Keith McCreanor was held in his home town of Paisley on Good Friday. Flowers were sent together with the condolences of the people of Colonsay and Oransay.

At time of writing, the body of the pilot remains unrecovered.

SUDDEN DEATH ON ORANSAY

Islanders were shocked and saddened to hear of the sudden death of John McGhie on a visit to Oransay on Friday the 18th of March.

John, head of the RSPB for Islay, Colonsay and Oransay, arrived on the Friday lunchtime Calmac ferry and stopped at the piershed to catch up on the craic. A fit and sturdy-looking 47 year-old, John appeared in perfect health as he caught up on the news. He then went to the Post Office to see if the part had arrived for Duncan McDougall's Discovery, with the intention of taking it over to Duncan when he went to Oransay. The part however had not arrived, so John set off in his car to the Strand.

The tides that day for crossing at low water were poor, so John elected to paddle over in the canoe, Esme who was passing at the time giving him a lift to where the canoe is kept. When however Davy Lane met him at the other side he was in a bad way and complaining of severe chest pain. Davy helped him into his vehicle and Duncan was there to assist when they arrived at Priory Cottage. However, he collapsed and died very soon thereafter.

John, who lived on Islay, is survived by his wife and by his son and daughter, both of whom are at university on the mainland. Our thoughts are with them all at this time.

PETROL PUMP

The long-awaited new island petrol pump, seen below in its Christmas finery (The Corncrake has just had its photographic budget slashed; but, fair play, two photos in three months of a petrol pump is probably a wee bit on the extravagant side), arrived last year amid a blaze of publicity. Hailed to be as good as anything on the mainland, or even mainland Europe, it assuredly is a fine looking piece of machinery ( and, confidentially, has received not a few post-ceilidh propositions...) :

Looks however, as the actress may have said to the Bishop, aren't always everything, and our petroleum-providing pride and joy has proved to be all glam and no gas.

The pump ceased to function properly back in January, following storms, and the consensus of opinion is that the pump had been struck by lightning. After much thought and effort by a large number of volunteers, including the best brains the island has to offer, the problems persist almost three months later ( this, of course, is not considered an inordinately long period at all in "Colonsay Time").

At one stage a part was identified and sent for, but when it eventually arrived, it failed to cure the problem. Exacerbating matters somewhat is the fact that the Development Company has had great difficulty in obtaining support from the installers, who were left being owed a tidy sum of money when the the main contractors on the pump installation project went into voluntary liquidation (ironically, this is exactly what the pump itself frequently fails to do...).

So, at time of writing, petrol can be obtained, but the transaction doesn't register in the Shop. Diesel can also be obtained, courtesy of a temporary pump provided by Nigel and Graham. Expectations are high however that the end of the saga may be in sight; a specialist engineer is expected to arrive from the mainland within the next few days.

Will he bring the right part(s) with him?
Will a repair be effected in one visit (these guys don't come cheap)?
Will he turn up at all?
Tune in to the next issue of The Corncrake and find out!!

EVEN MORE LIMERICKS

Adventurous readers of these pages who make it as far as the Magazine section will recall that a number of limericks had been contributed for inclusion in Issue 111. Somewhat lightly, if not tongue-in-cheek, your Editor invited Readers to send in a few more.

Well, either the Muse is upon the island at the moment or Ross is adding a mystery ingredient to the water, for barely was the ink dry on our last Issue when new limericks began to appear. All contributors having opted for the anonymity option (slightly more expensive, but Editorially recommended), here is a small selection of those that could be printed :

There was an old man named MacPhee
Had a very bad allergee
He couldn't drink whisky
It just made him frisky
So he had to make do with tea.


There was a shopkeeper named Pedie
Who was quite thin on the heidie
He'd work for a bit
Then suddenly quit
Housebuilding apparently more needy.


As Caitlin walked on the Strand
She thought of forming a band
So she played her guitar
Folk came from afar
Cause they thought her playing was grand.


De Byrne he works on the Pier
A modern-day John de Vere
He went and sold the hotel
Now it's dry as well
It's enough to make you cry in your beer.


There's a man who lives in a place called "Maggie's"
With a face like a bloated wee haggis
Try as he might
He can only write sh***
If he prints this he knows what a rag is!

Many thanks indeed to a friend for the last limerick. Personally, I didn't find it that amusing.

So, shall we put a cork in the limerick season at that? Or can any of our esteemed Readers raise the standard? And, why indeed is it called a limerick?

Lines are always open in Corncrake Towers when it comes to promoting the Arts.

KEITH STRANDED

Regular readers of these columns will recall a recent Issue which featured an unforgettable photograph of Keith Rutherford sporting the new Royal Mail headgear.

Word then reached Corncrake Towers (thanks, Iain!) that a photograph of Keith crossing the Strand was being used by the Royal Mail in their national advertising. Sensing a scoop, your Editor determined to source the photograph in question, aware that a photograph of Keith always seems to boost circulation figures.

A few telephone calls down the line and your Editor found a very helpful Royal Mail lady by the name of Carol and soon the photograph was winging its way to Colonsay. And, for your pleasure, here it is :

So fame at last for our diligent Postmaster General. It is to be hoped that accompanying the fame will be a sackful of mail from admiring female readers, as Keith advises that he receives no monetary recompense from the Royal Mail for their use of his image. "All part of the service" he announced with his customary sanguine dedication.

LOOK BACK IN ALBUM

The "Look Back" photograph from Issue 112 was one provided by Fran Patrick of a wee tea party in Glassard. Strenuous efforts to identify all those pictured are being made, but alas the editorial deadline for Issue 112 is with us all too soon and positive identifications remain incomplete.

It has therefore been decided to hold the photograph over for a further issue, allowing Readers another chance to put names to faces. Even if you can only identify one face, let us know, it may be one as yet unidentified :

It has been reported that Fran's photograph has caused sore brains all over the island, so it is only fair that our photograph this time around is a wee bit less taxing.

Our grateful thanks are due to Ivor Jones for provision of a photograph of a youngster about to board the school bus. Just who can that wee lassie be? :

SNIPPETS

Well, Angus MacPhee has been the big, brave boy and visited the Scalasaig surgery, where, under laboratory conditions, a DNA test has been carried out by the visiting lady locum. As we write, the biological sample is winging its way o'er the foam to a laboratory in the USA for Y-chromosome analysis. All we can do now is wait, to see if the sole remaining vestige of the island's once most powerful clan is indeed a MacPhee with a long and proud MacPhee history.

Angus himself is exuding confidence on the matter of his lineage, though there has been talk of contingency plans involving a midnight flit (certainly before the Clan Gathering in September) should the analysis yield less than positive results.

The Corncrake shares Angus's confidence however and is of the belief that the Clan Chief should be resident on the island. Be ready to hand over the chains of office Sandy! PRO REGE!!

Many islanders and regular visitors have often pleaded with CalMac to "hold the ferry!" whenever Time, (a commodious and flexible friend when on the island) snarls through its mainland teeth and pronounces an alien concept, "Ye are running late". Timetables are timetables however in these days when David Macbrayne's boats run to a less than "island" rhythm, and the request for a wee delay is met with a degree of disdain and a distinct "chan eil".

Imagine the surprise then, when a recent ferry due to leave Oban for Colonsay announced that the boat would be late as it was "waiting on a member of staff"! Oh mercy, blow me down with a feather, but now it would seem that our ferry operator gives precedence to employees over fare-paying passengers.

Ah, but all was not as it seemed ; the "member of staff" that we all had to wait on was in fact the Captain, without whom of course the boat could not sail at all. And, would you believe it, for Captain MacCrindle (for that was the name of the gentleman in question), this was his first time as skipper on the CalMac boat... Ochone, West-coast living is not without its comic touches.

As the holiday season settles on the island, it brings with it other changes to touch the lives of those who live on the island on a permanent basis. The Pantry is now open every day of the week and the Shop opening times have been extended, although Pedie seems to have resisted the temptation to open for business on a Sunday as well. (See "What's On" for details of opening times).

Wednesday past also saw the first ferry in from Port Askaig, so in addition to c250 resident visitors, the island played host to 50 or so day-trippers.
And Saturday sees the first Colonsay Gun Club shoot of the year, followed by another ferocious ceilidh in the evening.
Oh, and the CalMac summer timetable now allows a refuse collection every single week! Such luxury!!

Eagle-eyed armchair football fans watching the recent Italy v Scotland match in the San Siro in Milan may have noticed a banner in the crowd proudly bearing the legend "Colonsay Tartan Army". Yes, their was a Colonsay contingent at the match, including Iain MacAllister, Kenneth Rutherford, Roderick Binnie and Keir Johnston.

It is said that travel broadens the mind and certainly Roddie Binnie has added two new words to his vocabulary, viz. "Grazie" and "Ciao". A long way to go for two words though; a trip up to Uragaig and a blether with Don McLeod would have been a cheaper option - and possibly yielded a greater, and richer, addition to his vocabulary...

Finally, your Editor would apologise for there yet being no archives of the last two issues, and for the photographs being missing from earlier ones; a lack of space has necessitated this. However, thanks to a recent visit to Colonsay of Dominic Cornford, this situation will shortly be resolved. Better still, a big, new, flashy, all-bells-and-whistles Colonsay website will be with us imminently, and indeed, by the time you read this, it may already be there, with these pages residing thereon. Aye, it's the cutting-edge of technology over here right enough.

CAPTION COMPETITION

Often the good work of the industrious team behind each issue of The Corncrake goes unsung, and that is perhaps how it should be.

Oft-times however, one feels that efforts above and beyond the call of duty are worthy of some form of public recognition. Stand up then and take a bow, A.N. Other, for continued good work in acting as sole arbiter of our regular caption competition, a feature avidly followed by The Corncrake's growing Readership.

Honorary mentions with regard to the competition of Issue 111 must go to Eleanor, Alastair Scoullar and Allan Wright, but the winner this time round is Mike McNicholl who revealed his grasp of modern technology in submitting the following, and ultimately successful, entry :

In keeping with established tradition, Mike has won the honour of providing a photograph for our next competition. In this particular instance, the theme is a culinary one, the photograph showing us as at does the traditional preparation of breakfast in Ardskenish in days of yore :

Entries as usual to : editorcorncrake@yahoo.co.uk ; by telephone : 01951 200336 ; or by post to : A.N.Other, The Corncrake Caption Competition (Issue 112, c/o The Editorial Suite, The Corncrake, Corncrake Towers, Isle of Colonsay PA61 7YW.

WHAT'S ON IN COLONSAY

Please note that there is also a Notice Board on the Homepage; anyone wishing to publicise any event or attraction is invited to send details to the Editor.

TOPICAL LETTERS

Instructions are supplied, but two hints may help:
1. When using phrases, enclose them in quotation marks. For example, [lifting stone] will get you every instance of [lifting] or [stone] but ["lifting stone"] will get you what you want.
2. When you see the results, they may seem unlikely. This is because many documents (e.g. each issue of The Corncrake) are in reality just one single "page", covering many unrelated topics. No problem! Open the page, then go to the "Find (on this page)" option at the top of your screen, on a drop-down menu presented by the second button from the left. Type in the word you seek and hey-presto, it is highlighted for you. Note that you must give the page time to load (an issue of The Corncrake takes up to a minute), also that there may be more than one example on the page, so use the "Find (on this page)" function again to check that you have not missed anything.