HORNE: Hello - is there anybody there?

JULIAN: Yoicks, tally-ho, ducky!

SANDY: We are your actual Carnaby Hunt. Jule's MFH - I'm the Whipper In.

HORNE: And very nice you look, too. How many of you are there in the hunt?

JULIAN: Just Sand and me so far.

SANDY: And, of course, Reynard.

HORNE: The fox?

SANDY: No, ducky. Reynard La Spoon, the choreographer - he's a close personal, ent he, Jule?

JULIAN: An intime - you'll get on well with him. He's your type - all butch.

SANDY: But questing. You must have seen his work. He does fantastic things on the television.

JULIAN: You know, they all come trolling on in form-hugging black and do evocative things with chairs and ladders and planks of wood. He once done something with a bentwood chair that made Robert Helpman's eyes stand out like organ stops.

SANDY: It was his own fault for standing so close.'Course Reynard's classical trained.

JULIAN: Oh, yes. He's got your full classical.

SANDY: Started in John Cranko's Nutcracker and worked his way up.

JULIAN: He supported Dame Margot's Sleeping Beauty when Nureyev backed out.

HORNE: And he's the only other member of the hunt, is he?

SANDY: So far - but we're hoping to attract your show business clientéle.

HORNE: And where do you hunt from?

JULIAN: Oh, here - in Carnaby Street.

HORNE: There can't be many foxes in Carnaby Street.

JULIAN: No. Not foxes. There's not what you could call a plethora of foxes round here, but you still have the thrill of the chase.

HORNE: The chase? But what can you find to chase in Carnaby Street?

SANDY: He's very jejune, isn't he, Jules?

JULIAN: It's a quality I admire in him. Would that I still had it. (Sighs) 'Ou sont les neiges d'antan', Mr. Horne -

SANDY: That's your actual philosophical French. Still, don't brood, Jule, you'll get lines.

JULIAN: Now, Mr. Horne - you ready for the off?


JULIAN: Just put this Pink Coat on - and these breeches -

SANDY: And these bijou bootettes,... Right, now you're all dressed.

HORNE: What happens now?

SANDY: We just wait here till we vada the quarry. Look, there he goes - after him.

HORNE: But what about the horse?

SANDY: What horse? Jump on Jule's back.

SANDY: Yoicks, tally-ho !


JULIAN: So off we galloped, but it wasn't a fox. It turned out to be Mick Jagger in a fun fur but it was good sport, and mingling with the Carnaby Street set, our taste soon became known over a wide area and we was always being called in to advise on tarting up people's latties. Well if you've got it you might as well harness it, I think, and as I've always had a flair for décor Sand said 'Let's' and I said `Why not?', so we set ourselves up as interior decorators. 0f course,

Mr. Ram Singh and Gordon actually did the decorating, but the grand design was Sand's and mine, and we called the firm Fabe Homes and Bona Gardens. Mr. Horne was always mad keen to be inner than in and it wasn't long before we had the call to visit his little pied á terre (that's your actual French) to give it a good going over. Mr. Horne showed us round - and frankly our stomachs went over.


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