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Moan here, Discuss here. Dump nuclear waste somewhere else, maybe Belgium....23/4/98 ---- Limited Edition WeekRamp
Hello there. Would you like a bargain? Would ya? Yeah? Well come over here. This week only mate, I'm gonna let you have [insert name of game] at a cut down price, with special extra's. How about it? But it is this week only....
Never been tried properly before, has it? Maybe the games industry isn't ready for it yet, but I belive that Limited Edition of popular games or extra levels could be a great catalist for budding new developers. Seriously.
Let me explain. Games are there full release price (around £40 usually) are bought usually by either the game hungry or anyone desperate for the latest new title. Hyped-up games like Final Fantasy VII, Tomb Raider 2 and GoldenEye007 sell well anyway, but under-hyped stuff normally dosn't. Not without a massive ad campaign or a newspaper scandal anyway. Games like FFVII, TR2 and GoldenEye usually have support from the large console manufactures, i.e. Sony & Nintendo, (Sega are no longer a force to be reckoned with in this field) in the way of advertising and magazine hype/Backhander. The small developer and/or publisher simply cannot compete with this amount of publicity.
So how would a Limited Edition version of a game help sales? Surly it would be expensive to do this sort of thing? Maybe yes, for the small developer. But if you produce a killer game, a real killer, or just want yourself to be noticed, extra goodies would help the sales. Level makers, audio CD's, metal box's, Gold Controllers (Excuse me? - THQ). Anything to make it appealing. Hell, if you get sponsors, you can even lower the price of it to generate even more in the way of hard cash (it's a well known fact that if a game is cheaper, it will shift more copies). When it the time of the Limited Edition passes, delete it. And replace it with a Standard Edition, at slightly full price with the straight box sleeve standard. Hopefully, and use your grey matter here, the pissed off people that didn't get a Limited Edition, will buy the Standard Edition. Hopefully.
The Video and Music industry's already do this, but more often than the still fledgling Games Industry. And why not? Why not exploit the public more? They have already.
I'm only advocating this as an idea to get great games off the ground, while having a small budget. Sticking in an extra cd wouldn't be difficult, and if you can find sponsors, then all the better. That said, Limited Edition or not, the general public will always use Pirated Software if they can. In less you work at the Bristol PCWorld. Ahem.
Moving to the subject of Warez, It's nice to see FAST faffing around, isn't it? The claim by them (thanks to an "independent survey") that 50% of kids and teens (or the youth[sic]) don't use illegal software. What utter bollocks. I remember using copied software when I was 7, in fact, let alone 8-14. I imagine most of the "kids" in the survey were lying anyway. You see we aren't stupid. Most of us don't boast about our Warez habits. I certainly don't. Mainly because I tend not to get involved in that area anymore. Or can't anyway. But that's not the point.
Schools are still hotbeds for illegal activity of the warez kind, even in the days of cheap[ish] net access. Computer Clubs across the country all contain some small group swapping floppies or Dodgy CD's/CD-R's (mostly CD's thanks to the size of the cretins), containing some vile game. However, I can't belive that anyone's still making money out of pirating. My experiences of warez have been communal, and what I've seen of car-boot sale set up's, well, they just don't have the same feel to them.
What's my point? FAST is stupid. Amazingly stupid, in my opinion. They might as well pack up there bags and leave, to be replaced by some other body that can raid the above set-ups (obviously not Computer Clubs). And does any one report piracy? Is the Pope a Scientologist?
alt.digitiser has gone quite in the couple of days. Probably thanks to the Digitiser decision to get shot of B(l)underman and replace it with a 250-worded reader column every 4 weeks. It could prove to be one of the most popular features of Digi ever, or one of the worst. If it takes off, it may work as a weekly "feature" on the normal chart page (possibly the most unread bit of digiTM), if it dosn't, it's back to Leslie. My guess at the first budding p4'er? Neil Kearns, probably. My bets on him anyway.
And I apologize for the fiasco that was the new url. One, large, FTP sized foal up. Sorry.
Err, bye then. And bring back the fish. Hmm.
Moan here. Discuss here, groan with Mark Morrisson.16/4/98 ---- Fifa98 changed my life.....
A friend of mine stayed over this week (Circumstances to complicated to talk about), and with him, he brought over his lovely selection of Playstation games. Of which, one of them was Fifa Road To The World Cup 98. Now I normally hate footie games, but this one changed my life, but I liked this one. It gave me enough room to hone some skills that before seemed to be devoid from me in any other football game. Which was good. But then I won the world cup. Which wasn't.
Is it just me? Or do most sporting simulations have to be bloody easy to get any sales? Racing games are amongst the worst offenders, thanks to great automatic gear change cars. Ask my Brother. Although crap at wipEout, he's completed Multi Racing at least twice. They say they include manual gear change to make it more difficult or more realistic, but why bother when auto gives you a quicker thrill? It was the same with FIFA98, I simply choose the easier options to get a quicker win. I could probably do it again, but that cgi-generated chicken for an end sequence is hardly worth warranting it.
Because most simulations are made to be easy, usually, as I mentioned above, they don't bother to make a decent fmv sequence at the end of a championship. What do you get for spending 3 or 4 days of saving, re-loading and induced RSI? F*ck all.
To avoid being disappointed, you could always decide not to complete it, and not play it for a while. But then you lose intrest, and end up playing Quake on the net. Where therefore you get a big phone bill. Which you can't pay back. So you end up with no phone line. Or something.... But you can see where I'm coming from. Athens.
To tell you the truth I've never complete wipEout, I don't think many have. But because you just can't get that adrenalin rush from anywhere else (except wipEout2097, but I can't be pissed to buy that at present), you keep playing. wipEout has something else going for it. Which makes it great. However, this also makes it extremely un-realistic, but this can be an upshot. It's definitely a lot more fun.
OK, the whole idea of wipEout is to be a little different, but games like FIFA or MRC need something else to keep you interested. Something not plausible or possible in the real-life version of the sport. Like power-foals, or jcb-like destroyers. More fun, see? Especially in Multi-player. Who needs realism? I don't.
Realism is boring. Realism is possible in real-life. Again, realism is boring. The only real reason to buy an expensive simulation, is for multi-player games. Until I have 7 or 8 people staying at my house continuously, I'll keep my wipEout, MMV3, DKR and GrandTheftAuto, thank you very much.
And as for commentators, they're annoying on-screen and annoying off. They add as much to the atmosphere as shit does to a suburban park. No thank you. I'm off to write the first shooting and driving game.....
News for people that can't be pissed to read the news section: page170 has moved, as you can see. I apologize for all the banners that are now down at the bottom of the game. page170 is in for some major changes in the next couple of weeks. There is to be a search engine (Why not?), a new style Puffy Watch UK (I've found a use for it...) and new reviewers and writers. I'll have to thank our liege in all this Kev Beaumont, for being an extremely helpful person. You have my blessing, child. (Biffo? - Ed)
Also planned is page170 - TimeExtended, which as the title suggests, will contain all the stuff I can't be pissed to HTML-ise, instead I stick it on a listserv publishing thing. I'm looking for a public listserv to see if I can do it first though. Wish me luck.
Finally, MrBiffo's Humour has definitely improved in the past couple of days. Must be getting better, then.....
Moans to his unholiness PAndroid. Disscussion to the now hospitible alt.digitiser newsgroup.9/4/98 ---- Welcome to the Wannabe Digitiser site
You know I never expected page170 to be considered wannabe material (as MrBiffo mentioned that p170 was mostly made up of on Page 171 of Digitiser, last Thursday). I've never written any of the features and reviews in the fashion of "I going to copy digi today, huh, huh", though I might of done it unintentionally as I wrote. I'm a bit confused, compliment, or "diss"? I've intended page170 to be a games+humour site as well as a Digi Tribute page. Maybe it's DigitiserV2 in that respect. Either way I would like page170 to mutate into a fully fledged irrelevant games site, eventually, when I can get others on board.
I've had the idea of running a games website for a while now. But instead I decided to concentrate on writing up an RFD for a digitiser newsgroup. The RFD was never published in uk.news.net.announce, probably because I didn't ask control@usenet.co.uk nicely enough. (I have a copy of it somewhere, if anyone's interested). I gave up when I saw the Peter FM RFD which, for some reason, had been published when it was definitely more shiter than mine. Ahem.
Bored out of my head and looking at the PC one Saturday (like most Saturday's, which gives you an idea of what my weekends are like. Crap), I started playing with Frontpage Express and PSP (nothing kinky, I assure you) until I had drawn up some neat graphics and a begging for help page. I called it page170, and immediately the wasters on #digi98^ liked it.
So I started writing a bit more, and after a couple of nights I had produced the WTF? & my first Weekend Rampage (admittedly very short). WR (what you're reading now) is simply a platform for me to moan off, well it's become one, and it gives page170 a human, acceptable, voice. Then the Beret surfaced (after prototyping it on several sheets of dodgy notepaper). The Beret is probably the most easy to write part of page170, since it's what I do with most of my day. Take the piss out of the higher orders of this country, which include the Media, the Government and Peter Mandelson. It's very Satirical. It's sort of written in a Man-style, but I think it goes farther than the man can. It's easier to make sense of, too.
Then there's the reviews, which are a pain in the arse, frankly. I'm reviewing (ATM) what are seen to be very old games, when I would rather look over stuff like Gran Tourismo or Resident Evil 2. This is one reason why I would like to take on extra "staff" who will probably get the games quicker than me and would be able to review them. I would oh so dearly love to do that. At the moment I simply don't have the money to do it myself. I suppose, of course, that I could convince some games compaines that I'm important enough to warrant some review copies, but I don't know how to get their attention. Yet.
Finally we have Puffy Watch UK and the Features. Features can be pretty much anything, though I may develop character's of my own from them. In the running is Mr.Thrills, a Daily Mail reporter who frankly, talks absolute shite. Mr & Mrs Puffy may have a monthly hole there, too. Puffy Watch UK though is almost certainly going to be axed, due to an amazing lack of material and entries I have received for it. So you can wave that goodbye.......
So what's the future for page170? Shut up child, stop asking insolent questions. Well I may as well answer [slap]. page170 is not going to be page170 forever. It's going to change, either into thin bandwidth (nothing) or a more general games site, whilst keeping the irrelevant humour. I don't think I can keep up the unofficial digi thing, since so much of it isn't digitiser stuff at all, but mutated page170 gubbins. The Reviews section needs to be extended, as I said earlier I need reviewers. I could do the Features, WR and the Beret blind by typing backwards, but I can't afford new games, so restricting my scope for doing my own reviews a little. I need people power. If anyone is interested you can Email me about it. The more the better.
I'll stop talking about myself now. Chris Bell's Super 58 site is actually, quite good, better than Peter FM's extremely short and crap "Unoffical Digitiser Website" (well, at least he tried). If you've been wishing for a Digitiser archive site then his is essential[sic], it's amazing that the man's remembered it all. I certainly can't, and I'm possibly one of the site's biggest fans. PeterFM's is a bit, well, lacking. Very, Very lacking in fact. Even the look of it isn't very digi-like. He needs to rethink his attempt....
This leaves the one and only offical site, which is located on digitiser's parent teletext site, and has been going since September 1996. Biffo wishes to make it the best games site on the net (See the interview), and at the same time, more digi like than it already isn't. Fingers Crossed, eh?
Finally, alt.digitiser has definitly improved in the last couple of weeks. It seems more mature since James Dove has left, and it's a good laugh, too. Come in for rumours, and total irrelevence, as well as some brilliant chat. You know you want to.....
2/4/98 ---- April Fools[lie]
"Only this week I have realised that I have been running this webhole for a month now. Which is good. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up page170 (in some shape or form) for an extra 2 years, SATS/GCSE's permitting.
"Things will get increasing more difficult, however, as I now have to find a better job than the low paid one I already have. For 7 quid a week I deliver 300 papers. Slave labour in my opinion, but then it's all I've got. Trying to find a job when your under 16 is incredibly difficult. A highly paid one tends to have dodgy hours, too. I suppose I could run small business websites, which could be a good idea. But I will need extra money coming in if I want to keep the net connection and the website going. And to look after the PC, of course (which was given to "us" as a gift, complicated long story.....)
"Reacting to Feedback I get from the 70 or so of you is a hobby of mine. This week I got an email from the jurno some consider as god, Stu Campbell. The Email was basically an argument over Offical PSM, which he clearly dosn't like, and I, as I mentioned last week, do. According to Mr Campbell, PSM's reviews are vetted by Sony, including other features. I didn't know this, and (probably ignorantly) thought officaldom was just a matter of having the logo on the front the CD to boot. I'll look at it more scepticaly from now on, but I took my assumptions from the good track record that Future has had from past mags (there are exceptions of course, Connect, anyone?).
"I still think RE2 is a f*cking good demo though, and it's encouraged me to buy the game when it's released. The Atmosphere is amazing, and like no other game I've ever played before. Then again I still don't own Resident Evil, and I havn't played Final Fantasy VII. This dosn't make me very experienced to make a judgement, as you can see. I am the purest example of a piss-poor gamer. And there's many of me. You probably know one. Typical Situation: Got a PS/N64 for xmas from someone, wowed over the demo's/games. Weeks later, oh bugger, I can't afford a new game. Shops like Games Exchange exploit these sort of people, buying in games at a price to make an exorbatent profit, but hey, who cares when you can get nearly new games for £15 less than the SRP.....
"Isn't it fun to watch Sega crumble day by day on page 171 of digi? Erm, no. And infact, the company has become as boring as the Northern Ireland Crisis. Look, another CEO change! Look, more Losses! Ugh. As suggested two weeks ago, Sega should really leave the hardware sector. Now. Before they have to change managment again. But that's not going to happen....
"The launch date of the Katana looks deciderly dodgy as well. The end of this year may have the same mid season effect on Sega as the MegaDrive has on the Atari Jag. And whatever will be released this year as a new console will look shite by the time Sony release their second baby, the PS2. If Sega are to stay prominent, they should somehow scare Sony into reasing the PS2 early. F*ck all chance of that, either...
"Changing the Subject again because Sega is boring, looking over the mag ads in PSM, it now seems that Future is trying to copy the Men's mag format, by adapting it to other genres. It's a shame to see Future doing this, I can rememeber them when they were manily a computer mag stable. All this has changed over the years, they even have a craft magazine. Has the world gone mad? The Sans Serif culture in PCF style mags has gone now, but we're seeing that same "I'm a mens mag" font being used over and over again. Thankfully the world of bland isn't here yet in nice and cosy Games magazine world, except if you read Extreme Playstation, or Playstation Plus.
"No one wants to do a YS or an AP anymore, since the market for genuinly brilliant organs has been swallowed up by Digi. Or no one bothers because of it. PCZone is good, but not in the way the two cults were. Incidently, did you know some people have offered £15 for the last issue of YS? Insanly bad circulation in it's last months ment many not getting hold of the last two issues of it. And I sold the rest, not knowing how vaulable they could of been. Bugger.
"There are also a cuple of YS archive sites (nothing in the way of AP2, just straight archives). They don't go into the detail that so many people despratly want, however, so no old Pssts!, rather like the digi website <runs>
"Before I leave the fold, Digi's Wireplay's news saturation must of been done in desperation. From a lack of intresting news. Either than or Biffo must like someone in BT, which I doubt. I like the service myself, it's fast, and even works well over my shite 14.4k modem. I'm sceptical of their annual membership fee though. I got my zetnet access for 4 quid cheaper than what they charge for a years worth of local call access. If I pay an extra tenner I get free Kali and Quake. I somehow don't think paying for the service by creditcard will take off. If I want to use it, I'll be happy to pay 2p per minute, but not £90 a year. It's even more expensive than the creditcard systems already on the net. With DWANGO launching soon in the UK, BT could see their child die quite easily if they don't drop the prices....
"And finally, recently someone called WOW has been on the mailing list and sending email to me making out that bunderman is actully, quite good. This could of been geniune, until one of the subbers to the group went though the header, and found a reference to teletext.co.uk . Anything to say, Leslie?
"It's been hell to write this week.. FOR GAUDS SAKE SOMETHING MAJOR HAPPEN NEXT WEEK, so I can moan about it. Thank you"
26/3/98 ----- Methinks Jesus was the patron saint of Chocoholics....
"Hello. Well what a week this has been[lie]. The TGS really showed nothing that we didn't know already (though I am looking forward to RE2 and Metal Gear Solid) bar a lack of N64 releases. Nintendo not turning up to this advent makes the TGS look incredibly one sided, although there was a small showing of 98-or-sommit Saturn games. Which was nice.....
Recently in alt.digitiser (now Dove free, so it will dry your skin, like ordinary soaps....) there was a backlash against digi for their comments on Sega. Well I have to agree with Digi to be quite honest. Sega is now in it's worse state than ever before, it's arcades are doing badly (though that could be just a general statment about arcades, Puffy Jackets and all....), it's games arn't selling very well, and it's consoles are well and truly dead.
I suppose your thinking "Well it's not all bad, Nintendo's still around and Microsoft havn't gotten into the industry yet". Oh how wrong you are. Microsoft are infact, getting in though the back door. Too lazy to write their own OS for the new console, Sega have paid Microsoft to, erm, do it for them. After outselling the Psion in the PDA wars, and killing off Apple and OS/2, you would understand why I'm not too kean on Microsoft getting in on the act. It would also make the interactive[sic] entertaiment scene, look as naffed up as the PC side of things. Knowing MS, they would probably arrange deals themselves to get the damn things selling. As in "Look Mate, if you sell just these Katana's, and just these Katana's, I'll erm, knock the price off by £20". Why wouldn't they? I know Monopoly's unhealthy, but I would rather prefer Sony having the Monopoly than Microsoft being invoulved in one....
So what else could be hitting us on the head like a very hard thing towards 2000 in the shape on consoles? 3dfx may do a 3DO and try to sell a console. Obviously with f*cking amazing graphics, pulling along Creative Labs at the rear. PowerVR could have a go as well, and 3DO may want another stint at it. The only problem is, if it isn't Japanese, it won't sell. The Jaguar and the 3DO explained this for us in perfect sales figures several years ago.
I remember first playing on a 3DO in Virgin, Bristol, back in 1994. The only words I could think of were "Let", and "Down". Then had a go on a Jaguar in a nearby Silica[RIP], and I thought exactly the same. They were both cac machines, and at the time most gamers were more intrested in how crap Sonic3 was. Most of the games for the buggers were also 2D, which sort of contradicted the promises made in the adverts. The Public were simply not ready for it, and it would take a cirtain Japanese company to wake them up. 1995 was a good year to release the 32bitters, 3DO and Atari should of waited. Though looking back at the specs for both machines, none of them would of been a patch of the PS or even the Saturn.....
What's the moral of that story then? Well for Sega, it may not be a good idea to release the Katana (Prediction: The Katana will be the most misspelt or mispronoucned console ever....) in 1999, but instead to wait for the second coming of the Playstation. A longer wait would also make parts for the tech of the machine cheaper, DVD I imagine would still be expensive next year.
Actully, it would be quite apt for the 32bit era to end on the year 2000, wouldn't it? Ok, maybe not.....
Magazine Advice: All playstation owners this month should buy Offical Playstation Magazine. Apart from the usall brilliant editorial, the demo disc contains the Resident Evil 2 demo. This is one case where the mag is DEFINTILY worth buying for just the CD....
Well, Bye then"
19/3/98 ----- Blue Skies, Hot Weather. Middle of March?
"F*ck it's hot in here. And I'm bored. And I have to write this. Oh Hum.
"Let's see....... Aah, the Saturn. Sega this week made out they are not going to kill it off by the end of the year, after making a press release that they were. "Something went wrong in the Translation" said Sega of America in a state of shock. What translation? Do they have the converters of Mischeif Makers doing their Press Releases? Idiots, they'll HAVE to phase it out , otherwise they will go bust (and let's face it, Arcades are dying....). Simple as that. Sega need to start making money from elsewhere, maybe by opening their SegaPC range a bit more, enlisting some Japnese developers for example, or maybe pulling off a Budget label. God knows, but the sooner they can get shite of the ugly black box the better. I was actully quite surprised that they were still making MegaDrives even (you can still buy new games for them, you know).
"Some people are suggesting (What am I saying? Are? They have been for ages) that Sega should leave the Hardware side of things all togther. This could be an incredible good move for the struggling company, and it's exactly what Atari didn't do 4 years ago. And now look at them. Thrown about from firm to firm, and now to a Soft House that pathalogically makes remakes of old games. If Sega buggers up with the 128bit monster, they should dump it and become the lowly Publisher. It'll be the best thing they ever did. Sega may not like the idea of losing their own identity though, but this is the games industry. Sega make great games, and surly they don't want to lose that ability.
"I'm also worried about Sony doing a Sega. The PlayStation has been extreamly profitable for the giant, and has become more successfull than the last Sony great invention, the Walkman. But has Sony put thought into the PS2? What's going to make the original PS owners want to buy anouther PS? Sega neraly had a killer app with the Saturn. The idea (originally) was to have an add on for the MD (the 32X) that would also run Saturn cartridge games. In return the Saturn would run 32X games. A 32X cupled with a MCD would also run Saturn CD games and so on. This never happend, and the messed up launch and expectation of Sega that all MD owners would flock to the machine basically f*cked up the Saturn's chances of having a future. The Publics attention turned to the jaw-dropping PlayStation. The PS sold, the Saturn didn't. Tough Shit. History could so easily repeat (it already has, MDvsPS anyone? ). Of course being a massive multi-national means that if one little project fails, who gives one? They could dump Sony Computer Ent. and just carry on as usuall. Hopefully not of course, we don't want to be left with just Nintendo and Sega again....
"Much has been said about a game from Rare, called Incoming. Advice to Rare: Don't release in the Spring/Summer. Example: MDK, MMV3. Universally ignored? Yes. Which is a shame, but you can't avoid it. MDK was a great game, but sold badly. As did MMV3 on it's original launch. If you want your game to be literly canonized (E.g Tomb Raider) release in Xmas.
"Of course this never used to be true, but every year it gets worse and worse. Sales are crap Feb-April, Slow May-August and suddunly speed up for the rest of the year. Each year that Speed up season gets smaller and smaller. Blame it on St.Nick. In a way, the Japs are lucky, they have no christmas rush, and so the sales of games are steady thoughout the year. Here's an example of how bad things are: I was in my local (Bristol) Electronic Boutique on a recent Saturday. Only 2 people in there, and one of them was the cashier.....
"Going off the subject, shame (I've used that a lot today) about alt.digitiser. I expected so much more I did. Shame people like James Dove threw it back in our faces. Oh well.
"Bye Then."
PS: Great Panel 4 today, stu :)
12/3/98 ----- Nintendo are stupid (6)4 ever
"Finally this week the announcement that everyone had been waiting for. For at least 4 years. The Colour Gameboy is now a reality.
And I'll let you into a secret. It's going to flop.
Unless it's cheap (like it's predessessor) and it's software's cheap (like it's predessessor), it doubt much it will take off. Up till now software for the Gameboy has been at an excellent price (bar some recent releases....) and always has been around the £20 mark. The New Colour Gameboy games could be priced at £35+ (even though you'll be able to play your old games, but then whats the point in buying a new handheld?). Worse, how will you convince gamers that bought their £40-£50 quid Gameboy Pockets recently to let go of their handhelds? Not easily, many mugs(shoppers) forked out for the silver monsters at xmas. Will they be encouraged to fork out for a new one again at christmas in maybe 2 years time? We have no date so far, so we don't know. But I imagine Gameboy pocket owners to be pretty peeved by now (the ones that had already owned gameboys before buying the pocket version even more so).
"What about the N64?" I hear you beg. Shod off. Well the N64 launched was in an already competitive climate. They didn't effectivly "own" the neich, unlike the Gameboy. Gameboy is the handheld system. They could of kept the same standard for ages, with the same dreary graphics, and would of still have made a profit. So why in god's name are they bothering?
Two words. Game.com . Alougth it flopped massivly over here, over the pond things have been doing well for Tiger Electronics. It looks like a gamegear, has 4 fire buttons, and (for the gadget freaks) internet compatibitly. And oh yeah, it plays games. The cats(geddit?) did well at christmas in the Useless States. Not many games for it though, yet. And it's in Black & White. But Nintendo's still scared of losing it's pride and joy to a LCD games manufacturer, wouldn't you be?
Nintendo now has a long release schedule infront of it. There's the Pocket Camera, then the Printer (still unreleased in Europe), and the Gameboy Light[sic]. Added to all the sh*t that the 64DD will generate that will hit Nintedo, coming up too. Nintendo's never been very good with handling hardware, has it?
Hardware aside (placed on a shelf or sommit), I'm still looking forward to Pocket Monsters UK. Oooh fun :)
Final thought before I go, I've had to make my choices this week, hopefully looking forward to a carreer in something, hopefully journalism, hopefully working at Future. I would like to work at a place like Edge, though a bit more YS like. Not too serious. Problem is, writing really is the only thing that I'm good at. Bar Computer releated stuff. Which frankly, bores me to death. If I didn't get that job at Future, I wouldn't know what to do. Better work out something PDQ....."
6/3/98------------ F*ck, F*ck and more F*ck. That's the cybersitters dealt with.
Hello, before I go any further, I will like to make a statement.
PC Gaming is going to choke on it's own vomit.
There's two reasons for my thinking on this. Read Carefully. Or Choke your[censored by the taste police]
Here's the first. The games on the PC are fine and dandy [sic], nothing wrong there. But the third-party card manufactures mad disire to get better every 2 mounths, could well kill it off as a platform. What's the point I'm trying to make, I hear from the audience. (Shut up, I tell them). Pre-3DFX, games rarly needed a 3D graphics card. If any improvements in your system were needed they usally concerned either your processor or your memory. Easy enough, well it was back then. Then 3DFX happend, and there was a mad rush to make games for the card. Remember, this was just under a year back. Suddenly we were hearing of 3DFX ONLY games becoming availible. Voodoo suddunly found itself on many PC's across the land. These card's must of been at least £300 each. About three times the price of a Console. The 3DFX enhanced/only games found their way into out hands at xmas, just as the news spread that 3DFX had developed Voodoo2, which may need a new monitor. Also this week Diamond Multimedia (The Company That Made Supra Modems Look Naff TM) announced the release of a 12mb version of the Monster card. Problem: You can't buy any games for it yet. Problem two: See a pattern? Would gamers still want to fork out money year after year for more ram, an extra graphics card and a new processor? Erm, no.
The Second Reason for the imminent death of PC Gaming is Piracy. Yes, ELSPA is getting 'ard again (Like they did with Amiga Piracy, Anyone?). Anyone with a CD-R, knowledge of free webspace, and a good link to an IRC server, and a lot, lot of patience, can do the dirty deed. But you know all this. History could easily be repeated though, developers could lose interest in the machine like they so easily did with the Amiga. The easier and cheaper CD-R's get, the more worried the games industry will get. "But there's piracy on the PSX!" I hear you cry. I thought I told you to shut it? Anyway, piracy on the consoles is expensive (Mod Chips maybe cheap, but you try installing one, and don't even think about getting an N64 cartridge copier if you havn't won the lottery), and many people don't bother. But I have yet to meet someone who hasn't let a friend have a copy of or copied off for them either GTA, Doom 1/2, Quake or even Windows95. Piracy is part of computing, and almost definitly will never dissapear. Organized piracy will possibly never die either, if people can make money out of it, then like many other things, it will go on without anyone really giving a toss. Software houses will adventully flee the format like the Amiga experience of 5 years back. Nothing changes.
Don't get me wrong, PC games have been excellent in the past year. But if you wish to save money whilst playing almost the same games that are available for the white shite [Windows95 Platform], buy a console. Now.
Before I leave into the depths below me (also known as switiching the computer off) I thought I'll take this time to slag off the N64's spinning 3D logo. Channel 4 used to (and still does, in a diffrent format though) broadcast a selection of school programmes in the mornings, called ITV Schools. It's on screen ident was also a spinning 3D logo, with ITV on each of its 4 sides. It changed colour as it went around, also. See a resembelence? Surly Not? Well if you base a logo on a defunct schools programme, you should expect whats coming at you (or what's not, in the way of sales....).
That's it. For now. END OF MOAN.
PS: I now know Fat Sow is female, thank you for the 3 thousand messages (well, two really......)
PPS: Self Gloating bit about todays Fat Sow in News :)
27/2/98----------- "All is fine in Deans ville......."
"So the fued between our Next door neighboor (the kids I told to f*ck off), has sort of fizzled out. Well sort of. This week has been better than the last, though I'm back to school. Choices already, ughhhhhhhhhhhh...........
Back to the subject now, last week I mentioned that Fat Sow was losing it. This week, it's Stu Campbell's turn. Oh how it would be a laugh to read a single subjected Panel 4 again. Because there hasn't been a good one for ages. Violet's attempt was ok, but who Actually takes part in Games compettions? Thought not. Coming back to Stu Campbell though, he's having a hard time with the column. Maybe he's trying to get too many subjects into one Panel 4 (including the newsgroup and the IRC channel(s), while also taking the piss out of B(l)underman, which I applad.), or he's running out of ideas. Anyway, somethings been lost there. However much I would hate to say it, I want him to be a offensive pissy bastard again........ (hope he's not reading this....)
The Letters pages are Actually getting better, page 174 is no longer full of anorack amiga users (no offence to anyone with an amiga that dosn't hate digi, that is), or the technickly obbessed (" You now why the N64 is better than the PSX?..... It's in the name"), and infact, most letters are now quite witty. There was one on Thursday, where one bloke claimed he had the answer to the MCIBTY arguments. Because his socks wern't the same colour as his pants. Of course........
Also on Thursday, Biffo let though that something was happening on the digi site. Maybe a possible relauch? Hopefully it would be run by the man Biffo this time round, instead of a nameless Webmaster, who was to blame for the clear fuck up made. I would love some leaks on this(extra info).
Going right off the subject, Intel have scored an own goal. Again. In their TV ads. They have advertised to the british public that the Pentium 2 chip can help "Play DVD videos". Now for anyone else other than people that read PC tech or tech/games mags, most people havn't got a f*cking clue what DVD is. Infact, most people don't care. Like Video CD (what a piss up that was), video's will take ages to encode, and will probably come out late. And could you imagine watching a 3 hour DVD film on a dodgy PC monitor? I. Do. Not. Think. So.
Again, like VideoCD, if you can't record, it won't take off. I really can't see it creating a second market like the audio CD did. The other problem with VCD was the lack of platforms, and the naffness of them too. CD-I? CD32? Crap Mpeg cards for the PC? Added to this was the dreary lack of hard video availble. Not much did come out for it. The last big title was Four Weddings and a Funeral. And what happens if the cd gets scratched? And what if.... etcetcetc?
Anyway, I'm off now. ttfn (or something). END OF ENGLISH PUT IN AN COMMUNICATIVE ORDER[slap]
20/2/98----------- First Draft
"Ugh, Friday. Nearly the end of Half Term. Well really it is. I mean looking at it all, I havn't done much this week. Spent money on a new remote, read Digi, told the kids from across the road to f*ck off. Usuall.
I'll start my first ever WR with a moan about Fat Sow. How dreary and uninteresting he has become. I wonder if the happy campers agree with me, but he has become so boring! Moaning week to week about relivtivly unintresting subject (Ooh, I hate Independent Game Shops I do). I'll be honest, the joke with Fat Sow has started to run thin. There are few things he can rant about now. There arn't many good games being released at all, either. So maybe he has a reson to be boring. He could at least have a go at one of the Panel 4 regs. Please do Blunderman for me. Please. Little cuniving git (or should that be swine?)
I bet you're wondering who I am? Well are you? Oh please yourself. Well I'm David Deans anyway. Or PAndroid_ on IRC. Shortnd to PA most of the time. Or even PAnda (Hello Gemme! ). As you may have already noticed, I can't spell very well. Dunno why, just crap at English in general I suspect.
Before I go, I will be running page170. If you have anything to contribute or have any advice then email me at pandroid@bigfoot.com . Or I'll get the dogs out. They're called Sam and Jess."
By PAndroid