If gods all seeing, can he see me do this? [mooner] HAHHHH!!! erm....
If gods all seeing, can he see me do this? [mooner] HAHHHH!!! erm....
How to write annoying letters to games mags.
Stuart Hardy made a living out of this. Writing annoying and pedantic letters to big name or cult magazines can make you both well known and well hated. But a good letter worthy of a wankshaft takes time, and effort. Let me guide you oh lord.1: Be Pedantic
Point out even the most tiniest of descrepences in the text, and blow them out of proportion. For example, let's say a review mentioned that a game would last for at least 14 hours of play. Make up some story that you had compeleted it in only 2 days, put together some fake screenshots and moan. And moan. And moan.2: Bring back the past
No matter how crap the magazine was say, a year ago, moan about how it's changed. This is usually in the format of "I used to read your magazine when you were good but now you're losing a vauled customer". Tell them how dissapointed you are about the new layour/style of writing/reviews/journo's. Make sure it's competly pointless in the process.3: Make a name up
If you are to use your name, stick the first letter of your middle name (Or any random letter) in the middle. Otherwise make one up. And anogram of something offensive usually does the trick, although don't go copying the banned Grand National horse....4: Use Perfect english
No slang, no oohing and arring. Everything must be looked up in a Thesuarus before hand. Spell-Check thoughly, and use the Queens English to perfection. Act ponsy.5: Make your opinions make no sense
Go on about something stupid that dosn't make any sense (doing an alt.digitiser, see?) for absolutly ages. If they don't agree (which they won't), then send an even stranger letter back. Simple. Not too hard..6: Above all, be annoying
Just put the boat out. Don't care. Hurt their feelings. Get in there. Don't give a shit about anyone. Your reward will be great. I thank you.Of course, if you really do try this, you must be a bit of an idiot...
By PAndroid. Moan Here, Discuss Here, become Anal Rentitive by copying Stu Hardy. Oh yes. Dated 8/5/98