I'll tell all my friends but they'll never belive.... what you looking at?
I'll tell all my friends but they'll never belive.... what you looking at?
Written by PAndroid, Dated 7/8/98. Blame God!The Future. With Prof Bob Witigonazia
We are nearing the end of this generation of games consoles. Whatever Sony says, eventully elephants are going to run though the New York Stock Exchange just so they can buy a Dreamcast [unconfirmed] . But who gives a flump about that. It's the real future we're concerned with. PAndroid needs more help....Hi there, I'm Prof Bob Witigonazia, and this is the Future. Woozoo! Gimmegimme!
World Health
In the next 5 years, you will see large stars come from the russian politicians arses. This will be due to a major illness which will hold the world at it's ransom. Like this, aaaahhhh! So, to prevent ourselfs we'll have to say NO to all gay people everywhere. They are bad. Really bad. Stop them, before they take your daughters!Financial Markets
In the financial markets we will see more going up and down of the markets. This will happen daily, and is likely to affect the world in some way. There might be a massive crash, or there might be a massive recession. Either way, the late-night programmes on Channel 4 are all to blame. Blame them, before they take your dogs and cats!Technology Advances
In the future, we will finally have the power to hover. Using these things that will be called "Hovercraft", the world will become much, much, much smaller. On a "Hovercraft", it'll just be like an Airplane, except a lot more bumpy. Some of them will even kill people. Rape and pillage. Blame it on the Single Parents if they do. They'll take all your alien babies!Entertainment
In the future pictures will appear in large black boxes, behind glass. They will move. They will call this "Television" ("What? They said he was an expert" - Sub-Ed) and will be much better than that film rubbish. Films will come and rub you up all over. Run away! Blame it on David Cronenburg! Crash will kill you all, and take your bank slips!The Internet
The Internet will become a large vat of acid, and will flood Bristol, London, Newcastle and Glasgow. This will kill various important people and make other various people happy. Either way, it'll be very high-tech and all. Blame it on Dale Winton. He'll take your Supermarket Foods!The Quality Of Video Games
Video Games will all become Tony Blair Simulations. Yes! You can also be Tony Blair! How promising! But until then, they will just all pretend to have large breasts. Blame it on South Park. They'll take your ("That's enough of the 'futur'" - Sub-Ed)