Satire. Funny. Maybe.

Lowline Special: alt.digitiser, the truth

A story by Thrillo and Co. It's real man. Ish. PAndroid pretends.

There was once a place called alt.digitiser, which was filled with life and cow[joy]. But now it's full of rowing, of bad things. Of people who don't like, who move away. Who decide to say "Hey, I just don't like you." But then, they don't know. They just don't know.

This is because they are actually large gorillas masquerading as humans. Via a new drug which has been developed in the small secret place of Norwich, Gorillas can become as intelligent as your average net user. Note, this is a Net User. Not an Aol user, which has the average attention span of a large camel with a migrane.

This new, exciting drug has immense possiblitys for the world. Mr Self-Important, gobs off. "No longer will we be alone in chatrooms, Gorrillas will be able to join us from Zoos on order. So we obviously had to test this new technology."

alt.digitiser was the testing ground. Monkeys from London Zoo were given names such as "PAndroid," "Garrett," "Del Boy," and an idiot named "Nick Mooney." 'It was so easy,' said MrS&I 'they didn't even have to look intelligent.'

'When the experiment was over though, we just had to end it.' Mr Will Self then sent an rmgroup message to end it all. The gorillas just became confused, sick and very, very odd. They lost touch with each other. Some started mad raging arguments. It was sick, scary and almost like Channel 5. Though it had nothing to do with a TV station. Oh no, that would be unsafe.

So that's the real truth. You're all Human ancestors on various drugs. Let's all point at the a.ders and laugh children("No more South Park Quotes" - Ed)