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Bob Sweezley Presents: Horribly Xenophobic [spelt wrong] Facts

Bob Sweezley, stars of "Hey, you know me!", "Get you life together, fast!" and a hoard of other uninteresting infommercials shown late night on EuroSport, presents these greatly researched and covered up facts about the nation at large. PAndroid proves he can't spell long complicated place names....

"Hi there! My names Bob Sweezley, famous for 'You and Your Father: A guide about incest' and 'My sons a Homo, what do I do? KILL HIM'. I'm an incredibly educated person. I did the Open University! Currently, I appear on Infommercials and TeleText Super Page 675! Cool, huh?

Fact No.1: Brazilians cause 90% of all farts in the atmosphere of the earths surface.

Fact No.2: Germans have larger nipples than the average Brit.

Fact No.3: Italians eat twice the amount of green grass daily than your general Chinese Emperor.

Fact No.4: Irish men take sheep alive buy their bank balances. True fact!

Fact No.5: Australians find heat so compromising, they have to grow and extra 5 stomachs to cope!

Fact No.6: The Danish always keep their Norwegians in their pockets

Fact No.7: People arriving at the Edinburgh festival will find that all the Americans on stage have long, swishy tails. And brown breasts.

Fact No.8: For every modem that is made, a Ukrainian gets it wings.

Fact No.9: Snakes live in 80% of all Lithuanians.

Fact No.10: The Welsh look after their geses in their Scottish. The English are left alone. Howza!

Fact No.11: SuperNews59, Digi! and Do You See? are all made from invariable grey pig arse. Not unlike mine! ("That's enough Facts, ill move you to 593 if you're not careful" - The Sub Ed)"

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