Dodgy Rename: Opal Fruits to..... StarBurst. What?
Dennis, man of Zinc, her true story.
Dennis, Man of Zinc, was once a well known Superhero on Planet Zinc, in the quadruple quandrant. Until he fell back on his tax returns, that is. This, is her true story.
Dennis was well known on his planet, he had merchandise deals and everything. His status as a SuperHero was only open to a Significant few. Many claim, but few are chosen. He was chosen (or rather fixed, his father worked at the corporation) to become a for-show superhero. He would do promotional work, such as opening hyperzarkets, and cutting lazer beams and saving old Zinc'ans from the terrors of Hover travel. Truly, Dennis was a one in a million. Well actully he was one person in 800 million, latest statistics prove, but anyway. Dennis was happy, the public was happy, the corporation was happy. But then something unimaginable happened. That shocked the world of Zinc into submission.
The sales of Merchandise fell (well it shocked the corp).
This was down to several things. The Value of SuperHero's to common-or-garden Hero's had dropped. Also, Hero's now had their own union. A recent protest in Zinc ciry fighting for the forgotton plight of normall hero's changed the planets opinion, and put there new goverment into great shame. The Public stopped buying his offical products, like Dennis Talk, Dennis Towel and Dennis Magazines, also in protest. Dennis started to run out of money. He turned to Drugs Dealing to make up his lost cash, and ended up on them himself. As a result, he ended up on the vile things. When he was caught, the goverment made an example of him. It Banished him from the planet. Really Dennis didn't mind, he was stoned out of his head at the time. He thought Earth was some sort of green party movement. The country to accept Dennis in turned out to be the UK. Because they liked the look of the initials.
On Earth Dennis has found it difficult to adapt. In and out of jobs, he can't really find his footing. Please help this poor man. Send your donations (we accept VISA) to:
My Bank Account
Somewhere in Swindon
We will house Dennis, and give me a good holiday, too.PS: If you were wondering what happened to Mr and Ms Nude, well in, tragic circumstances, the ship that Dennis was being carried in landed on a Nudist camp......
By PAndroid. Date 12/3/98