Thanks to Steely for the Horses Head. I think.....

Lampooning Sausages! It's a Review of DIE HARD TRILOGY!

FORMAT: PlaySation

PRICE: £20

GENRE: Multiple Game Movie Tie In. But good.

DIE YOU BASTARDS! YES! ALL OF YOU! DIE!!!!! YES! AND YOU! DIE! GO ON! GO AND DIE!

Oh, erm, that's another life gone. If you havn't noticed already, this is how I play gratuitously violent games. My mother said use the joypad, and I found that much easier. But anyway, on with the review....

For the under-rockers, Die Hard is based on the series of Die Hard films featuring Bruce Willis and various other dodgy geezers. Bruce, as it so happens, is a bomb disposal expert. And I have, as it so happens, only seen the end of the second movie. ("Blast" - Ed). Looks like I'm gonna have to review this game on it's merits alone then......

In line with the films, DHT (which isn't a name of a dodgy shite tasting long-life milk) isn't just one game, but actually (shock horror) three. The first is a Third Person shoot and free and dis-arm'em up. As in the film (It says 'ere) you run up and down a tower, freeing hostages and shooting down terrorists. Once you've shot down all the terrorists, you get disarm the bomb. What sounds boring, actually makes for a quite thrilling game. (And oh yeah, you can free hostages too)

The graphics are quite interesting here, instead of dodgy messed up clipping, the walls simply melt away when the camera collides with them, allowing you to see though them. This twist lets you see where your going (obviously) and helps you quite a bit, too. The action is quick and deathly (is that a word). When they - the terrorists - attack you, little circles appear at the left, with pictures of the ugly ones inside them. Let that gun go my friend....

The first game is rather fast paced, and quite fun too. It's horrendously playable, but keep it away from your mother. The gore shows in this game, and would ignite a "These things, they're too damaging for the young of today" spark in many a Daily Mail-reader.

The second offering takes - oh ho! - The second movie plot and turns it into a Time Crises but better type of shooter. Using your mouse, Gun or if you're like me and havn't bothered to go and buy and pheriples, a joypad, you must shoot down all the terrorists and get to the plane in time. This is no Time Crises clone. Oh no, this has more depth and real inter activity[sic] than the Namco classic, after all, it has been designed with the home audience in mind. Like TC, you shoot anything that moves, except the civilians. There are power-ups to pick up, too. It first appears Linear, but if you get quicker and safer (instead of shooting everything, it really does help not to shoot anyone innocent), then secrets are revealed, changing the direction of the level completely.

Whilst it makes for a good trigger happy gun shooter, I can't help thinking that after three days you would find all the extras here, and will go off and play Quake or something. Which would be such a shame. This is one of the better Light Gun games, but it isn't the best game on this CD.

Finally, the third game in this collection of lovelys is linked to, you guessed it, Die Hard with a Vengeance. Funnily enough, I havn't seen this one either. But the game is quite fun on it's own anyway.

It's goes like this. You are a bomb-disposal expert (again) in a car. New York is about to be blown up by terrorists. Only You, and the git in the car telling you where to go, can stop them. Rather strangely, instead of using your crack bomb disposal skills, you just run around in a taxi, running over the bombs. If you're not with me, think of it like this. Destruction Derby, in New York, crossed with Carmaggedon. It makes for a highly original game.

Each level of the game is based on a part of New York, central park, the subway etc. A arrow tells you where the bomb is, all you have to do is follow it (to an extent, or you might drown yourself) until you find a blue or red crosshair on your screen, and run straight into it. You can run over people, dogs, phone boxes, other cars, parks, it's like real life! But before I scare your wife or someone else, you can turn the blood down. The car handles well, and you have multiple views. Generally running into things is quite satisfying, the gameplay is completely non-linear so you can go in any direction you please, except on the odd level. It feels like GTA from a first or third person perspective. Great fun.

"So how do I rate this overall as one package?" I hear you cry. Patience my dears, I will answer. I'll put it this way, if you fancy getting a cheap game this week, get three, instead. Same price.....

OVERALL: 9/10 - 3 great games, possibly the best Movie-tie in your ever going to play, though the third one is the best out of the lot. Worth getting and keeping.

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