"Mummy, I've just had a sweetie with Viagra written on the packet. It's really yummy!"

REVIEW: Jeopardy for the NES

So you've set up your games company, now what? Damn, can't think of anything..... Ah! Here's a good idea, let's make a game of a game show! Hey, wouldn't that be great and ironic?! Erm.... No.... As Mr Neil Kearns is about to prove....

Jeopardy is a dire American gameshow (Ed's note - Some ITV licencee actully made a UK version of this rather crap attempt at a game show. However, unlike it's american counterpart, it flopped). If you don't know how it works, it's quite simple.

You get asked an answer, and you have to give the question. Do you see? Good.

In this smelly game for the NES, you assume one of the 'people' who answer the 'answers'. Keeping up? Good. One person is constantly giving the other two the finger [or looks like it], while another appears to be making origami birds out of 'her' arms.

But; onto the 'important' bits. The Questions/Categories. An example; European History [shortened to EUROPE HISTORY to fit on the midget-like screen]. Answer for $500: "Soviet leader exiled then later assasinated in Mexico". Question: "Who is Trotsky". 1) Trotsky was never the leader of the CCCP. 2) Trotsky is dead. No present tense nonsense please.

And! If, for some reason [i.e you are brain-dead or [for the America-centric questions] you are not American] you can't answer a question [or question an answer? It's so confusing!], the computer gives you a oh-so-wonderful clue. Looksee; say the answer [question?] was "Joan Rivers". The computer player [Beryl, or something] might say this; "J *$!! iv!s", or something. we can all get that, can't we kiddies!

Conclusion; an awful pile of rancid plates. Poor animation, no backgrounds, beepy-annoying choons, and to top it all, programmed by... by... Rare Ltd! I do hope this isn't our Rare, of Goldeneye fame? If so: We Are Disappointed. Thought you could keep it a secret, hey?

Score: 12%